This is a very interesting poem. No, this is a very powerful poem. First, the ONE question I had ... S2 L1 ... at the end should that word be "for" or "from"?
Now onto the pleasure ... there was much. The first thing that I am compelled to tell you is that I saw something in this poem first as a flaw. I noticed that "Aristocratic" seemed misplaced. It was in the wrong stanza. I was about to make note of it for my review when I saw the same thing with "Bolts". The pattern continued. It occurred to me that this was intentional and so I wondered why. The words were stuck ... they were stuck in the past stanza ... stuck in the past. The words could not escape the past. THAT ... was brilliant good poet, brilliant. The images were pristine. This is one of the most towering poems I have encountered here in a VERY long time.
A definite favorite.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Oh, thanks so much for your enthusiastic review. Yes, that was a typo in S2L1 thanks for catching th.. read moreOh, thanks so much for your enthusiastic review. Yes, that was a typo in S2L1 thanks for catching that. I am so excited that you understood the placement of the words. Thank you so much for such an in-depth commentary.
11 Years Ago
It was my distinct pleasure. I look forward to investigating more of your words. I would be digging .. read moreIt was my distinct pleasure. I look forward to investigating more of your words. I would be digging in now but am struggling to keep from being face down on the keyboard.
i love the aura you create with this poem ..so glad i found it Icey! the old South ...both real and unreal even today ... wonderful use of the language ..imagination inspiring imaging ...tweeks all my senses ... whispers of ghost is the cherry on top for me ..well done! i have to smile a little over your closing lines as ............ a lot of tasting went on in closets i am sure .. again .. love your poem!
E.
From a person who lives in the deep south and has spent quite a lot of time amongst the antebellum plantations, having watched and read Gone with the Wind a thousand times, I love this poem. You have mastered the gentle art of word painting. I am transfixed as i read this twice. I'm only a bit puzzled by the last stanza....
"the cries of those who spun
cotton candy lives but were
never allowed to taste the
sweetness. "..... Is that a reference to the youth cut short by the Civil War? Many, many young lives were never allowed to reach their expected potential, and many estates were thrown into poverty and neglect due to the Union Soldiers burning crops and stealing all livestock and anything of value. Women and men went from lives of parties and Cotillions to working in the fields. Is this a tribute to a time long gone?
the undertones, as you might catch
the cries of those who spun
cotton candy lives but were
never allowed to taste the
sweetness.
Pity the Beatific beauties … you would be surprised the number of who still bind up the virtuous beauty . A beautiful write with a very important message.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you Pryde. It seems the cornucopia is not for everyone.
i could see what R.L. Ives spoke of...the aristocratic thing...nicely done.
but this also brought me somewhere else...the description brought me to churchill downs in KY...
been there a few times..and there is such rich history..i was there on weekdays when it was quite empty..but my imagination was just singing all day..and this feels like that...
the last part is quite sad..."never allowed to taste the sweetness.."
reminds me of people who live with appearances but never really experience what real life is.
anyway..this is what is conjured up in my mind as i read this...and i love it.
jacob
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
I am always happy when someone reads a poem and it speaks to him or her. The layers of life are comp.. read moreI am always happy when someone reads a poem and it speaks to him or her. The layers of life are complex and some lives are built upon the lives of others.
For me this is taking place in Savannah. It paints the picture perfectly. How everything was proper and impropriety was looked down up with much distaste. Everything superficial, People were not really allowed to just be who they wanted to be, everyone had a station so to speak. Except for that one seemingly genteel daughter of the merchant or banker that just couldn't stay away from the stable boy; oh heaven forbid child what will the whole town think, family name ruined, lol. Kush life with not so much happiness.
May sound quite odd, but I love oak trees and Spanish moss. I grew up in the Deep South. ;)
Oh, this write captivates me by the way.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Well I thank you very much. I am truly happy that you felt the poem had realism and meaning. Thank y.. read moreWell I thank you very much. I am truly happy that you felt the poem had realism and meaning. Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response.
11 Years Ago
You are very welcome. I enjoy reading your writings.
as god is my witness , i shall never go hungry again...this is exquisite. it smacks of the traditions and airs of the deep south and is very eloquently penned. well done, poet!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
LOL thanks...funny I too used that quote just the other day! Thank you so much for reading my work. .. read moreLOL thanks...funny I too used that quote just the other day! Thank you so much for reading my work. I admire your work as a poet and I am pleased that you have taken the time to visit.
i looked for you yesterday and ran out of time (had to go out) but now i shall never go hungry for y.. read morei looked for you yesterday and ran out of time (had to go out) but now i shall never go hungry for your writes again!
11 Years Ago
Wrap yourself in a silken curtain and enjoy your day.
11 Years Ago
sounds like a good plan...now, where'd i put that curtain?
a undertow, I was expecting the last word to be" Bitterness", But you stayed out of the Ashley and the Cooper ,went straight to Johns Landing, put in for a summer picnic watching the fourth over the Fort. or maybe it was the Emerald Ball in Lexington, wait on the first Saturday in may, A green felt hat with pink trim in your stable colors,Just don't spill your purse in the paddock,But now Baltimore won,and the Christiana Hundred are dancing .
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Your experience in the south depended on your place in the play. Where there is beauty and comfort t.. read moreYour experience in the south depended on your place in the play. Where there is beauty and comfort there is often an ugly underbelly making it all possible.
11 Years Ago
My fingers want to engage,but before I start let me say I like the poem,you are right about the ugly.. read moreMy fingers want to engage,but before I start let me say I like the poem,you are right about the ugly underbelly of the world,(a lot of it just down my road),but perspective on consumption,economics,mental media foreplay will make us all want .
Your pen leaves the sweet promise of the finer things in life, but pricks the conscious mind to know reality is more often so much less tasteful.
Well done.
I do not accept any new friend requests unless we have read and commented on each others poetry. No exceptions. I have enough homework as it is. I expect reciprocity in our exchanges. Read my work and.. more..