DAILY ROUTINE - CHAPTER 1

Yet another mundane Monday afternoon and after having my as ever boring lunch, I get back to work with a heavy heart that I carry with me everyday. Seriously, I hate my job, I mean who doesn't ? Unfortunately I am not one of those people out there who love, having that never ending passion and enthusiasm in their jobs. Yes, I loathe them or maybe deep down I am just plain jealous. Knowing what they want in life and never waste a day in their lives.

While typing my report that seems to take forever and thinking about what should I have for dinner tonight. I am so miserable that even food taste nothing to me but just to survive, like literally. Out of nowhere someone tap my shoulder and as I turn around there he is, the manager of our department that everyone 'worships'. The first thing that comes to my mind is "oh god, not now."

"Hope, I see that you are still working on that report. How long has this been? 2 Days?! What are you? A snail? Even a snail can cross the street by now! What on god's sake are you doing?!"

(Ok. This is not good..think of what to say Hope, THINK! Make sure it doesn't sounds like an excuse!) 

" Well, I am sorry Sebastian but my hands are full with other projects that was assigned to me yesterday, just... "

" Oh..So, do I have too much free time to you then? I do not want to hear any more excuses from you! I want you to get this done by tomorrow! I want to see this report of yours first thing in the morning by tomorrow on my desk!" His face was turning red and somehow he is trying compose himself from not exploding himself with anger and said "Understood?" 

" Yes sir." I replied softly and here we go again.

Ignoring that weird atmosphere that was surrounding me and those eyes that are watching me with sympathy. Well, today is definitely not my day. I guess I know what do I want for dinner now, I should start noting down the pizza delivery's number.

I have been working for extra 3 hours now, gobbled down my pizza within 20 minutes and typing my report at the same time. Squeezing every cells that I have left in this dying brain of mine and wanting to get this over and done with ASAP! I was so concentrated that it feels like like I am being locked up in a cell on an isolated island that no one will ever know my existence, right under a spell that no one can save me from. This vibration that I am feeling breaks the spell that I was in. Its an incoming call from my mum, picturing what will be our conversations like tires me out tremendously. Nonetheless, I swipe my phone to the right on the green button.

" Hey mum"

"Where are you Hope? I am right outside your apartment for ten minutes now and you are not coming out. You are making me looking like an idiot here."

"Mum, I am still at work, I didn't know you are going to drop by. What is it?"

" What? Why are you still in your office? Please don't tell me you are not being efficient during your working hours hence the extra hours in the office right? Oh Hope, how many times do I have to tell you.. Stop being.."

"MUM, please, just tell me what is it that you need to drop by my place tonight." Feeling too exhausted to argue any further with her.

"Alright alright.. I just happen to pass by the area and thought of dropping by to see you, you didn't even visit us for the past 6 months now and not to mention a call from you. So I have to make sure if my daughter is alive."

"I am fine, I was just busy with work and.... more work." Not to mention the endless arguments that I had with my parents that just makes me want to avoid them even more. 

"Argh. Fine. Make sure you call and come visit us when you can alright? I've got to go, Dylan is waiting for me downstairs and don't stay up too late"

"Yes mum, bye." (Finally)

A conversation that lasted less than ten minutes and that feels like the last twenty percent of my energy is being drained out immediately. Telling myself to buck up and finish this damn thing as fast as I can and hope that I have a supernatural power to teleport or something, just to get to my apartment in a split second.

Time check and it's ten thirty pm now, finally I am done with work and I can't wait to have my hot shower later. Off my desktop, the air condition and lights, making sure that I did not leave anything behind.
Walking to the train station seems like forever, feels like I am being dragged by metal ball chained up on my foot while making my way home.

Got my keys out from my almost 5 years old hand bag and.... I am home. I do not even bother to switch the lights on, I have this ability to walk around my apartment even with my eyes close. Light up my lavender scent candle and pour myself a glass of my favorite white wine. Took a sip of my wine and made my way to the bathroom to take my hot shower. Drying my hair with my blow dryer and do my facial routine. After all that is done, I rested on my sofa and finish up the rest of the wine. Before I know it, I realized I was sleeping on the sofa instead of my bed yet again.

This is my dreadful daily routine of my adult life for 3 years straight without changes at all, subconsciously I know I am dying inside. I shook off that thought and continue to prepare for work hoping that time flies fast like a shooting star without any difficult situations happening during the day.