The Bird

The last few days
I've been a bit manic depressive
Not my stoic self
(You would call it my noble self)

I awoke askew today
Cigarettes and coffee
Couldn't straighten me
Even they remind me of you

We met when you asked me for a smoke
A few minutes later, two hours had passed
The first weekend we spent together
You drank all the coffee, you love it so

I saw a bird this evening
I don't know what kind it was
It was so beautiful I wept
It looked just like you

Its neck was slim and graceful
It tilted its chin
The way you do
When you want a kiss

It began to sing
With the timbre of your voice
It took me back to conversations
Of the Great Serpent Mound and Mauchu Picchu

The bird sang for just a moment
Then flew on to other things
That is when I realized I am not alone
If I can find you in a bird

Reviews

[hunglikejesus]

Loved it and I'm there with you. "A few minutes later, two hours had passed" very clever line and I to have been there. The thing about meeting really good people is you know you don't deserve them and they will soon be gone. Or at least in my mind. "Of the Great Serpent Mound and Mauchu Picchu" I to am a follower of the esoteric, if that is even what this line is making reference to.

I like them simple and with as few words as possible and this nailed it.

[Kristallo]

Lovely.

[...]

Picturesque visions of longing! stunning emotion :)

[Eve]

I just love stanza two, and three, it has such a real shine to it, and how you described her in five giving us a visual of the gracefulness she holds for you.
such a lovely nostalgic piece:)

[MOON]

I love your turn of phrase , the way you find the perfect words to describe the mundane like the hours flew. Lovely write .

[Lydia]

It's very good. Great job!

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Icaros13,

I've read a few of your pieces, now, and I am enjoying your interesting style. Each stanza is a cameo scene, lightly touching what has gone before and what will come next. It all makes a delicate weaving of your story. And there are some nice phrases scattered throughout. Here I was most taken by the sentiment of the closing stanza. Very nice!

Best regards,

Rick

[Leslie Philibert]

Enjoyed the mix of imagery, the mix of personal experience and imagery of the bird, good writing.

[Rosalind Gale]

Soaring with longing, your poem expresses very well the loss of belonging - and the desire to feel love once more. Lovely.
Rosa -x-

[...]

. overwhelming ... there's so much beauty in this scene you've etched ... i mentioned to a friend recently that transcendence is about transcending the limitations imposed by the limitations of our physical space ... and in seeing beauty and love and poetry ... from a different perspective ... love was never dependent on the physical presence of a person ... it never will be ... congratulations on making the discovery ... there are better days ahead ... i promise ... :) ...