Hanging

Hanging

A Poem by icaros13
"

My first attempt at haiku

"
Spring turned to Winter
Its beauty now lost to me
We had no closure

© 2012 icaros13


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cool

Posted 12 Years Ago


spring- turn-ed to win-ter/6 count unless there is a rule about -ed's that they don't get counted on syllable counts, if I could maybe suggest :

Win-ter end-ed spring/5
its-beau-ty now lost to me/7
we-had-no-clos-ure/5

also since this implies human emotions about closure with the me and the we, I think it might be considered a senyru which is another form of haiku, but that maybe subject also, I am no professional by any means on structure, I love the concept though, however depressing, lol, jk... it's awesome!

Posted 12 Years Ago


icaros13

12 Years Ago

Nice catch... I'm not sure on the syllables. I just counted as I say it lol... I like your version t.. read more
Corset

12 Years Ago

I do that too! lol
hmmmm spring turned to winter....i dont quite get that line...seems kinda backgrounds but the other two i understand and i think are great good job

Posted 12 Years Ago


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...
. beautiful work ...
. vivid and sensitive and skillful ...

Posted 12 Years Ago


yes!

Posted 12 Years Ago



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5 Reviews
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Added on May 17, 2012
Last Updated on May 17, 2012

Author

icaros13
icaros13

Kansas, OK



About
For we have thought the larger thoughts And gone the shorter way. And we have danced to devil's tunes, Shivering home to pray; To serve one master in the night, Another in the day. ..I do love.. more..

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