Perdition

The morning Sun sheds no light, only shadow
Cold leeches into the charred, gaping chasm
Of the heart's former residence, spreading to useless limbs
Inutile solutions steal sleep from a mind benumbed with
Too many questions, too many insecurities
No regret, only trepidation of loss
Valiantly waging war against self pity, I sing to the black Sun
In sacred, ancient tongue, beseeching relief
Monochromatic the world remains, no warmth to be found
I implore the Ancestors for elucidation, for clarification
But hear no whispers on the wind, only silence
Alone, I stand, the remainder of once great strength
Spilling into the dirt, along with my resolve
I must not break, must not fall
Too many others depend upon my fortitude
I want to give in,feel entitled, be selfish, to weep
I long to release my rage, my sorrow, to count coup
But I am committed to the White Path, Red has no place in me
So I shoulder the weight of my circumstance in quiet acceptance
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and take heavy, awkward steps
Knowing that eventually, I will grow accustomed to this burden

Reviews

[...]

. i haven't read a more powerful piece of writing in a long, long time ... i recently walked out of a nightmare that lasted more than 5 years ... and the journey has only begun ... it'll take me at least a year to cross the first milestone ... every image that you have etched talks to me ... whether it's the "charred, gaping chasm" ... or those "inutile solutions" ... or ... that "trepidation of loss" ... or ... "singing to the black sun" (what an exquisitely stunning poetic expression) ... or ... a "monochromatic world" ... or ... "imploring ancestors" or ... that "silence" ... or ... being "the remainder of once great strength" ... or "spilling into the dirt" (i have such excruciating memories of that and of begging for mercy) ... or ... the presence of those "others" ... but i had to "release my rage, my sorrow" ... i literally wrote my way out of my pain ... somehow, it started with me writing words ... and then it transcended to a place where i'd start with an opening line ... and my piece would write itself out ... and offer me an insight i had missed ... and then ... one day ... i realized ... that there is just one human being ... the one that i would seek mercy from ... who has nothing to give because somehow circumstances have convinced him that he is nothing but a victim ... and made him depend on monsters for his survival ... and are trying to turn him into a monster as well ... and ... that if i don't do anything about it ... no one else will ... and i kept writing ... and then ... one day ... my words revealed a road map to me ... a road map that did justice to my life thus far ... to all the pain and all the joy ... and all the meaning ... and that day was 27th june, 2012 ... reading this post for me is like recalling all that happened before i experienced what mr. milan kundera calls "the unbearable lightness of being" ... and ... realizing ... that this stage is necessary ... until i went through this pain ... until i submitted to this burden ... i didn't find my liberation from it ... it was like making eye contact with the burden and saying ... fine, kill me ... and that's when it just flew away ... leaving me unbearably light ... and i haven't lost that feeling since ... this happened a few months before the 27th of june ... and then that flight led me to my roadmap ... thank you for this post ... if i'd missed it, i would have felt like i've lost something that i needed desperately ... this is magic potion for the soul ... this is compassion and empathy ... this is also a rather spectacular piece of poetry ...

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

speechless is hard for me...but i am just in awe

[Corset]

This is exactly as I feel of late, I couldn't have expressed it better myself...no I really couldn't have, lol, it's amazing in all the right emotionally piled corners, i'm so weary of this weight, of always doing the right thing, especially when the cost is so great.
it's wonderful.

[...]

I felt every word of this...felt it igniting my emotion, like you was me...masterfully written, sir!!!

[Skye]

Its beatiful, dark, and I can't help but adore it.

[thewritingbanana]

this is an awesome poem! so much emotion and so many feelings captured. you make it possible for the reader to feel all the terrible images youre conveying.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

eludication - i adore that word, so thak you, I find this piece cleansing to the point of terror, well done, good read.

[Kristallo]

I feel this way, too. =( Beautifully, elegantly expressed as always. Your gift is my muse.