How to beat the Festive Season loneliness

A Story by Ittai Bryan Matthew Nyamawuya-Masanga

"Not everyone is going to enjoy the festive season with family and friends"

The festive season is upon us and the drama of the much-anticipated congress that failed to live up to the billing is now behind us. By chance, you happen to find yourself lonely and look likely to spend the festive season in isolation like Mai Mujuru. It could happen that received a wedding invitation from the girl you thought you were going to marry next year. Or, the men you been seeing (who has been pretending to be a senior bachelor) confesses that his wife has just returned from the diaspora.

The temptation will be to stay home drown in your sorrows in a bottle of vodka and curse the merry making neighbours for being noisy. It will look enterprising to enter the workaholic mode and present to everyone that business is booming and you are busy at the office. Although it works temporarily, it is no solution and life is too short to spend in misery. Here are some activities which we feel can help you beat the isolation and feeling of loneliness over the festive holidays.

Catering

There are weddings, graduation ceremonies, welcome home parties usually for the diasporans, and many fund raising activities lined up almost every day. However, if you feel you cannot really face the world, hook yourself up and get busy by offering to do the catering. That way you are close to the fun and you have a likelihood of uplifting your spirit when you are surrounded by merry makers.

Disc jockeying

For men who are reluctant to try do catering (patriarchal society says the dishes are for the woman), take to the music decks. Home parties are easy. Connect the laptop to the home theatre system not forgetting an external drive loaded with terabytes of music (for the night is long). When the crowd grows, do not sweat: Where there is will, there is always a way. When they want you to boost the base, they will get you a bigger amplifier.

NB: Always have a generator on stand-by for power cuts are inevitable.

Chauffeur

The diasporans are here. It could be the neighbours, workmates or some distant cousin, and they want to travel around during the holidays. They probably need a ride to do the rounds. Offer to be the chauffeur and have a feel of the fun. Works best when you are the sober driver. It is not bad to be ‘The Transporter’ taking accompanying the merry party on their drinking spree at the hottest spots around town.

Volunteer at functions

Many organisations are hosting charity events and they need volunteers. Unless you are a certified hermit, or you are beyond the point of remedy, there is no way you will spend a whole day interacting with lively people and not feel better. Busy yourself with making the participants as happy and comfortable as possible. Enjoy the chitchat and for the ladies you can make do with the flirtatious flattering comments that the masculine species always have to offer in abundance.

Church conventions

Trust me. There are a good percentage of men and women who come to church looking more for a companion than for salvation of the soul. You can easily identify them by searching eyes that betray desperation for human connection. Their look is an intense gaze revealing an inner loneliness that makes you feel guilty if you do not say ‘hi’ at the end of the service. So don’t feel guilty to join a church event then start looking around scanning the congregation for ‘potentials’ throughout the proceedings for there’s a good number of you who are doing the same.

When all else fails, go online. You are most likely to find very lonely online friends to chat with during the festive season than at any other time. For who would spend their time chatting on We Chat when the rest of the buddies are singing “Jingle Bells.” However, we do recommend caution when online for you may never know the freak at the other end of the line.