Beloved

For anyone who has ever read Toni Morrison's "Beloved", this is a short piece I wrote based on the novel, from Beloved's point of view.

It’s been a real long time now. How many times the sun crawled up and down, how much icy water has passed between my gumdrop toes I don’t know and I don’t care. Who took her away, don’t they know that she knows that I’m hungry and I can’t live on sugar water for long?

Oh, there she is, I can see her. Oh… oh no, don’t be sad, I’m here. I’m still here, look, can’t you see my hands in the birthday cake? Look, I can stack up the ashes in the corner like this, I can make the house make a noise like that. Look, I’m still trying to climb up the steps, oh no I fell. Look, I still need you to help me, I still need you I need you I need you. I’m still here, don’t forget me.

Oh no. No, don’t forget me because if you won’t remember who will know I couldn’t breathe while I ate if I wasn’t flat on my back? If they take you away nothing’s left of me, I know because they took you away and it hurt like they ate out my chest while my heart still beat, but also I know you won’t ever forget me because you love me more than anyone and fed me with your own blood mixed with milk to make sure I ate, gave your body and soul to name me with pink granite. So long as you remember that crawling?already baby was me and feel the red river from my neck on your arms I’m still here. I can still reach out for you to hold me, and you will.

This is where I am now. Your voice your touch your air I can finally share them all now and I won’t let them take you away never ever ever because, because I can finally touch you. I won’t let you forget me even if I have to break that damn dog’s legs and make the floor scream, even if your other children run away or go insane, I won’t let them make you forget me.

Who is that? Oh no, he’s taking you away, he’s telling you to forget and that it’s okay to put me into a tobacco tin. You can’t, you can’t, you wouldn’t but he’s telling you it’s okay just because your shadows were holding hands. Him. He may have kicked me out, shouted at me beat me scared me away, but that was before. I’ll show him. I’ll make sure he knows who you really love. Even if my teeth my arms my head all fall off I won’t ever let you go. I can’t.

Never. I’ll never let any of them have you, because so long as you remember me I know that you love me, really forever and always and that I’m always your dearly Beloved.