A Long Dark Tunnel

A Story by ianscull

In life there are always moments we look back on with regret. Those with a good memory are blessed with the gift of reliving their worst all day every day.

My life has been filled with deeds good and bad. My conscience is forever weighed upon simply because I have walked such a fine line between the two. The vast majority of those I have wronged have no idea that I have wronged them and likely never will. But I remember. I remember each and every lie like a stone dragging on my mind ready to be recalled at a moment’s notice. I know how Atlas felt carrying the World on his shoulders. I have known victory and folly from truth and fable each one less satisfying than the last. I have often wondered how much Soul I have left and whether redemption is even possible for souls like mine. And then this came.

In my youth I was often in a hurry. I walked everywhere with my head up laughing at the world as I passed thousands with their heads down, like ostrich in the sand. Do they not understand? The world is fleeting and by God I would enjoy myself. Today was work. Tonight was party. Damn the consequences.

I was walking the short way to work and I was coming upon a long dark tunnel that I have often passed through. Always in a hurry. But today I wasn’t. There was no rush at all. And at the entrance to the tunnel was an old man. I watched him as I approached the mouth of darkness about ready to engulf him. He was carrying too many groceries and was struggling balancing himself. As I approached I saw just how withered with age he actually was and immediately felt sympathy for his plight.

I came upon him and he looked up at me. A smile crossing his withered features, a glint in his deep brown eyes nearly covered within the recesses of decades of folded flesh. Two ancient withered eyebrows raising with hope and surprise as this gigantic young man, bouncing with youth and strength, approached him just in time to help him through the darkness with his near unbearable load. He said nothing but smiled at me expectantly as I came within feet of him. I also said nothing. Turned my shoulder to him and kept on going. As I passed I immediately thought about him.

And as I walked through this tunnel that I had hurried through so many times before. All I could hear was the shuffling gate of this withered old man, carrying his unfathomable burden through the darkness. All alone. And as I walked through the darkness, I seemed to have all the time in the world to remember everything I had ever done and I knew. God was watching. God was watching me and I failed.