Martyr of her dimples

Martyr of her dimples

A Poem by ZeeShan
"

Tribute to her dimples that were once crafted and living.

"

People have fallen the victim of her smile and I became the martyr of her crafted dimples.

Every sight of them landed me to the eternal oceans, this is her world.

I see no land, no man neither the sign, I see myself drowning deep into them.

Mind not me being mean to depict this ocean because I wish to keep it a secret all I discovered under the beds.

 

But my heart wants to say it all.

I felt the sweet aroma of her existence, I witnessed the tides rejoicing, I see the marines in peace, and I see the piranhas in love.

 

I see the nocturnal moon lighting her phiz.

I see the water getting thirsty praising her,

Such is the ocean in her smirk.

 

I have a prayer to make,

God! Get me drown somewhere too deep and make me the guardian of her gestures.

So that I can pay her gratifications for making me the martyr of her crafted dimples.

 

                                                            

© 2016 ZeeShan


Author's Note

ZeeShan
It's never easy to see your love leaving for heavens and leaving you behind with the memories that are sweet and painful.

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Featured Review

I loved this poem.
"I have a prayer to make,
God! Get me drown somewhere too deep and make me the guardian of her gestures.
So that I can pay her gratifications for making me the martyr of her crafted dimples."
The above lines were so good. You create place and beautiful memory. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote





Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ZeeShan

8 Years Ago

Thanks a ton coyote, glad that you like this one. Stay in touch and stay awesome.
Good luck!
Coyote Poetry

8 Years Ago

You are welcome my friend.



Reviews

I loved this poem.
"I have a prayer to make,
God! Get me drown somewhere too deep and make me the guardian of her gestures.
So that I can pay her gratifications for making me the martyr of her crafted dimples."
The above lines were so good. You create place and beautiful memory. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote





Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ZeeShan

8 Years Ago

Thanks a ton coyote, glad that you like this one. Stay in touch and stay awesome.
Good luck!
Coyote Poetry

8 Years Ago

You are welcome my friend.
I really love the message in this poem, as well as most of your expressions. Even tho there have been a million poems written about such things, yours sounds original becuz of your focus on her dimples, as well as your nice analogy of the oceans. I don't like the word "crafted" as it relates to dimples, tho. It has an artificial sound, as if she makes herself up without authenticity. Another bump was when you used "beds" -- I think you mean the ocean floor, but it sounds sexual (being in bed with the person) and your poem is much deeper & more meaningful than that. Also, the word "phiz" has a negative connotation for face. I like physical descriptions that are quirky, not always beautiful & gorgeous, but I think the word "phiz" is too far to the edge of being not complimentary.

Other than these very small bumps, I felt it was brilliant to describe the way the various ocean life acts different in her presence, especially piranhas in love, since we normally think of them as ferocious flesh-eaters. There are many creative analogies amongst your comparisons that sound very fresh and unlike the usual things you find in love poems. All in all, very nice love poem . . . it's rare to find an original-sounding one these days.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ZeeShan

8 Years Ago

That was really helpful and encouraging. Yes by bed I meant the ocean floor. Is is apparent that you.. read more

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415 Views
2 Reviews
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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on May 25, 2016
Last Updated on May 26, 2016
Tags: love, heaven, memories

Author

ZeeShan
ZeeShan

jamshedpur, Jharkhand, India



About
Hello! all amazing people in this community, my name is Zeeshan. I write to lift moods and push imaginations beyond the stereotypes. Connect with me and my passion for writing will keep you under the .. more..

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