Simmering Summer Junk

The song is mine, I hope you like it.

I paced this city block

through dark material and shade spots

for all the summer afternoons

I can stomach.

Sun, sky high-
pinning phantom limbs
along the asphalt
like sidewalk chalk. 

Neighbor and stranger

smear together

as my presence fades

into solitary confinement.

I am the crucible

which all hours

speak of-

fearful, malignant, 

paranoid, fluttering 

eyelids.

I stoop and I slip, but come to

this beat up,

chipped paint Pinto

with tinted windows
...hiding 

an olive skinned smile

Author's Note

Reviews

[Dye]

Interesting music, it does go well with the poetry.

"fearful, malignant,
paranoid, fluttering
eyelids.
I stoop and I slip, but come to

this beat up,
chipped paint Pinto
with tinted windows
...hiding

an olive skinned smile"

I feel like I have seen this scene, the stooping. That car, the Pinto with the candy man. Very good image, realistic.

[IWRITE]

f**k yes, thank you so much

[IWRITE]

for the compliments alone- thank you thank you thank.

i feel i need to address your review in particular- part because it is the only review i have received in weeks, and part because of what you said.

i can only guess, but i'd wager that you stumbled over this poem looking at the submissions for the summer poem contest, right? that or some other crazy how... either way, i feel like my page is a ghost town unless i put a lot of time and effort into the work of others- which is kind of how this site works... and while that is something i am interested in doing, it isn't something i have the time for right now... so i just check this site every once in a while and see if i have any new notifications. never happens. until today! er... 3 days ago

anyway- you got it- the imagery. the candyman and the "stoop". if it sticks to you as something familiar, that makes me feel happy- that i've written something other people can parallel to their own memories or whatever...

so thank you. thank you for taking the time to comment and thank you for getting it. i appreciate it.

[Dye]

I was just about to head off when I saw this pop up. You are very welcome. I found this piece because I have been trying to visit everyone in my friends list at some point or other. I don't do RR's, send them or receive them, so I go strolling sort to speak. I don't worry so much about "tit for tat", I review when I see something I like. I liked this one, it paints a picture that I knew and I think you did a great job with it.

So it was my pleasure to read it. Sorry your work hasn't had much attention, I'm sure it's not because of the content but more like what you mentioned. When you are a visible player on here you will get noticed more.

And on that cheery note, I'm outta here. Have a great night!

-Dye

[IWRITE]

right! well i'm glad you strolled through my neighborhood! i do it the same way here, just not as often as i'd like any more. that and... well... there is a lot of.. uh... crappy?... writing to wade through here.... not so much s****y as cliche and the skeletal remains of a dead horse, you know what i mean?

people starting to write now, budding forth their digital fruit, have so often never been exposed to older poetry or writing. "if it isn't on youtube or tumblr, i don't know what it is!"

oh god i am turning into an old man.

[Dye]

No problem, although I do consider about half of my stuff 'crap', but I write for me-- so you don't have to like it. LOL The way I see it, is that everyone puts themselves into what they write, so I can appreciate the small, silly poems as much as the epic ones. And yes, you sound like a grumpy old man. ha ha ha But you're allowed to have your own opinion. Take care

[Horizons]

Interestingly expressed, thought're good about distraction of "SIMMERING SUMMER JUNK". Imaginary's great and i liked the poem as well as your words you choose to write.

[IWRITE]

well thank you, horizons. glad you enjoyed it. score one for me!

[Thoughts]

I really felt this on a personal level, which is surprising. (to me, but wonderful for you to achieve!) The music pushed it too. Really an emptiness, habitual isolation here; with the music creating a drawing in, tempting another state of being. And then the smile, which could be more of the same or another direction entirely. Reminds me of my own addictions nearly 23 years back. I saw the comments below.....keep up the good life and works!

[IWRITE]

i'm so sorry for the delay in responding! thank you for taking the time to read this and comment, it really does mean a lot. i'm glad you can connect with it at the same level that i have- being an addict is a thing all it's own and you have to be one to understand it. 23 years!? awesome.

[Muse]

Interesting read...like a clusterfuc* of random thoughts. The music is ever so distracting, but at the same time it is appropriate...like your poem, it clatters and bangs in my head.

[IWRITE]

well hey thank you! sorry if the music distracted you... but i hope that's a good thing!

[SteveB]

Great imagery here and I like the use of alliteration. The oppressiveness of summer heat was very well conveyed and the first stanza did a nice job of keeping in the cool shadows fresh rather than cliched. Well penned there. That stanza also sets up the darkness of the soul that comes later very well.
The ending is open to interpretation and I personally like some ambiguity. Is the smile a reflection of yourself viewed in the tinted wondows? Is it a lover waiting in the car? Is it a stranger who does not have the heavy heart?
Very nicely done. Thank you for sharing it.

[IWRITE]

the truth? it's a heroin dealer in the car

and thank you very much. i appreciate the kind words and that you enjoyed it.

ps! i've been clean from heroin for a while now!

[SteveB]

Like I said, a lover in the car.

24 years, two months, twenty fours days 24 hours at a time. But who is counting?

[IWRITE]

ahaha. yes, a lover in the car. funny you describe it that way.

a "lover" is the same metaphor i'm using to describe drugs in my story "Serial X" if you haven't already read it

[Anna Legault]

I loved this very much. I remember this feeling. Bittersweet.

[writer in trial]

About writing i imagined in my own way which fit with this song. I feel like a man watching all the s***s happening outside. In a sunny afternoon, a busy afternoon, in the midst of crowd,he sweeps away and placed himself in a solitary room watching all s***s going around. He might me some weird kinda guy who may not feel comfortable with a bunch of normal people, so find himself confined in a solitary place. I think in the end he is showing his presence as you have written tinted windows. He has a mind with so many dark desires and thoughts and his eyes are something that sense all devilish things.People aren't going to accept the real way he is,that's why i think he feels himself alone and different in the midst of crowd.So finally he appears but by hiding his actual identity. I am not sure what this poem is exactly saying. But its like coming from the delusion and facing the real world by hiding your darkness. This music feels me something like that. Like in the middle i feel like something is very deep and strong, a kinda of delusion and slowly light towards the end.

Good job ;)
Two thumbs up ;)

[writer in trial]

First of all i want to say this music is really killing one. I was so lost that all i need was desperately some weed to smoke at the corner while listening to it. It reminds me of Brian Eno's "here comes the warm jet". This is absolutely amazing. :)
Now i am eager to listen more of yours composition. ;)
tc :)

[IWRITE]

if you ever want more of the music, check out my soundcloud! the link is with the song. i appreciate the kind words!

[shallimarRose]

You have me wondering what his is truly about now..... clearly there is a lot of metaphor.. thank you for the rr.. I am going to shelv this and read again.. shallimar

[IWRITE]

definitely metaphorical. basically its about my horrible heroin addiction i was finally able to cut off two summers ago.

[shallimarRose]

Well congratulations on becoming clean and also for having courage to write out your pain and victory. shallimarRose

[The Verse: A Poetry Jou..]

You might not be aware due to the lack of structure, but you have an infallible ear. you can create such flow with your diction. superb.

[IWRITE]

thank you so much

[Jack...]

This was very cool. First time I have ever seen a Pinto used in a poem, liked this alot. Somehow the Pinto and the lonely feel of this piece go very nicely together. Can't listen at work, will check out the song later

[IWRITE]

please do! the song fits well with the writing.

and thank you for commenting!