Memories.Love.

PRESENT:

Now all I can do is stare him with her

and feel jealous.

Looking at them getting closer

and loving each other

*Sorry, let me tell you my mistake, let me tell you my past*

PAST:

I was on a trip,

with my best friend and him.

He and I became real good friends,

but I started feeling more of it.

The trip became the most precious memory to me,

It was the only place where he and I should be.

Everything seemed so beautiful,

Everything seemed so pretty,

Everything seemed so mine.

We had so much fun,

It was a lifetime memory indeed.

The trip was over,

but my feelings weren't.

Maybe I wanted to confess it to him,

but I never wanted to ruin what we had.

I called in for a get together,

And seeing him with someone else,

Made me uncomfortable...

He started liking her,

He got over me,

He got over whatever we had,

He still remained my friend,

like before,

But for me,

I fell in love with him.

Author's Note

P.S. This is my first poem on love ever :)

Reviews

[Emily]

Love the ending!!
Keep up the great work!!

[iamshadowine]

Thank you 😊

[Mifa]

Nice one, but I was sorta thrown off by the intermission like inter-cut when you decide to take us back. In my opinion the message of the poem would have been passed along effectively without that and without the lines:

"I was on a trip,
with my best friend and him."

Try it out and see. You find that the flow continues and we still get a sense of the conundrum that befalls the poet. The inter-cut was quite amateurish and even if this is your first poem, the writing is anything but amateur. So good one, Shadowine. But next time, let you're writing take us back to a sense of the past not you. Good one once again. Keep writing.

[iamshadowine]

Thank you😊

[M]

This is so relatable, loving someone who loves someone else..
keep writing more love poems!

best,
Phoebe

[iamshadowine]

Thank you 😊

[sansrity sinha]

nice one for the first attempt!
i liked it!

[iamshadowine]

Thank you! :)

[Marianne Rose]

I can relate- to love someone who is a friend, and watch them be with another is so difficult. Or to have a friend steal your love- I've had that experience too. Love is so complicated! A good story of your experience with this painful situation.

[iamshadowine]

Thank you :)

[Robin Goodfellow]

The situation you described has to be one of the most frustrating things in the world. You see everything so beautifully when you first fall in love. Unfortunately, the other person doesn't feel the same way. (Sigh), keep writing! :)

[iamshadowine]

Thank you 😊

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

The beginning creates a dark and sad picture and then the cause of the gloom and the despondence is uncovered as we journey through the pages preserving the memories of one journey during which a mistake was committed- falling in love. Really deep. Good for a first poem on love. Heartfelt. Keep writing.

[iamshadowine]

Thank you 😁

[Trevor]

"Now all I can do is stare him with her"

Not sure if this is a typo, but it works since you can either share him with her or you can stare at him with her. Good poem.

[iamshadowine]

Thank you ..... I did mean stare him with her. :)

[Teddybearlee]

Very nice, tragic, beautiful story telling. As you can imagine, I can feel the struggle so easily. My heart goes out to you, and of course I always appreciate a love poem, whether happy or tragic, they make me feel emotion, kudos on your first one, a job very well done.

[iamshadowine]

Thank you so much :D

[AliciaB]

Congrats on going outside your comfort zone and experimenting! I'd say it went well. This poem gives a very clear picture of the speaker's thoughts in regards to this experience. The feeling of desperately wanting to be with this person, but not wanting to mess up the "perfect" memories, is evident. Nice work!

[iamshadowine]

thank you! :D