Heaven is here

 Those pretty clouds let my eyes wide open

those pretty colours had evenly spoken

red, orange, purply shade was the sky

the birds were singing and the clouds had just cried

tip-tap the water droplets left the leaf

the wind had sighed in grief

chuck chuck i clicked

all the elements i had picked

it was winters and it felt tricked

god turned the weather so beautiful that Ms. Universe seemed without any look

i looked at the elements  and smiled

i knew, alike weather any miracle could bring a change in my life

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This describes most of my winter days. I love being surrounded by nature & your poem paints a picture of how this can feel. I especially love this line: "it was winters and it felt tricked . . . god turned the weather so beautiful that Ms. Universe seemed without any look" . . . there's a playfulness, like God & nature are playing off each other on a beautiful day. Here's one tiny suggestion. Instead of using plain everyday colors like "red, orange, purple" . . . challenge yourself to find more unusual ways to say that . . . scarlet, peach, & wine . . . shades of fire with splashes of wine . . . always look for more interesting words, if possible. It makes your writing stand out.

[iamshadowine]

thank you for your suggestion, i'll definitely look forward in using them :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Hope and good words. I liked them. We can make our life heaven or hell? Better to see the beauty of life. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[iamshadowine]

thank you so much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Riddhi]

Very beautiful poem.I especially liked the way you expressed the main idea.Well done...Keep it up and thanks for sharing..