CHAOS

Is sorry enough

To take your sorrows away

'Coz in this love story

I should always to be blame

 

For a long time I silenced myself

‘Coz I thought I have no right

But I just keep on being torn apart

With these memories I am falling apart

 

I stopped writing and even believing

I lost my track in my rhymes and breathing

This year feels like everything is ending

And I totally lost the war where I was never winning

 

Is it enough for me to be silent

To keep up for the times I keep sinning

Or do I have to lose my sanity

And totally take this life away

 

I know sorry didn’t mean anything

To you people whom I thought didn’t cared

But I am always left to speak the word sorry

Because there are no words to convey

 

Yes I am afraid of dying

It was evident when I vomit the medicines

Then I thought of renewing

Deciding to leave my life in this city

 

Gotta find my place in another country

But it seemed that the odds were always against me

Destroying the plans and hopes

Of forgetting and hiding from the hurting

 

I know this poem doesn’t sound like a poem

I know this poem doesn’t even focus on a single theme

But like how I tried to make up for my life

But I won’t be able to write again

 

Like how I can’t get back my sanity

I could only do like this poem

Imitating how I wrote them before

I could only imitate how I was before

 

But this time I had to show no remorse in life

Since that would make people around me happy

But in reality the only words I would love to write in everything

Is how I managed to capture death my own hands