"Siete Palabras"

I use the seven last words of Jesus in relation with my everyday life struggles.

"Eloi, Eloi lama sabachtani"...

I also keep asking these words...

Yes, my Lord, why have you forsaken me?

Why have you let pain enveloped me?

Why do you allow anger to conquer my whole being?

I make sure to follow your commandments, or so I think...

I have been faithful in praying but why do you not answer me?

Are you still there? Or have you really abandoned me?

Tell me... Show me...

"Abba, beyadkha natan 'ana ruchi,"...

Lord, I am tired of this world...

I am weary of journeying this pointless life...

I have been searching for something I don't even know...

I feel like giving up...

And so into Your hands I lay my spirit...

My friend Augustine was right... He was like me, a wanderer...

Yet during those aimless journeys I found the truth and comfort in You...

Yes my heart is really restless until I let it rest in THEE...

My spirit will dwell in Your kingdom...

For my spirit exalts in You...

"Tsamey 'ana."...

I thirst, O Lord...

I thirst for You...

I long for love, a love that would fill my heart...

I crave for attention that would envelop my pain...

I desire for care that would tend to my wounds and heal even my scars...

I thirst for forgiveness that can make me forget who I am...

I thirst for You... I thirst for your LOVE O Lord...

"Abba, selach 'ethon la nakhra mah himon pelalin."...

Abba, hear this prayer of your Son...

Forgive me for this ignorance...

I am wrong every time I think that you have forsaken me...

Yes it has been very painful...

When you let people come into my life who would mean so much to me...

But why do you take them away from me by the time I learn to focus on them?

When you give me greatness...

Then pull me down when I become arrogant?

When you make me feel empty...

Every time I deserve to be happy?

Forgive me Abba for being weak... Hear the prayer of you Son...

"Ishaha, alu baraykh. Alu immakah."...

You entrust to me Your own Mother...

Through that we become siblings...

May I follow the examples of our Mother...

She who never falters in faith in our Father...

She who never stumbles over any obstacles...

She who is a formidable opponent of the serpent...

Our mother who would always use love to defeat pain and war...

"Amen, 'amar 'ana lekhon, yo ma dena tihya immi befrades."...

Oh Christ! I am not worthy to be with you...

Yet I am grateful for the chance You have given...

Paradise is indeed with You...

Paradise that will crush all my sorrows that fill my heart...

Paradise that is incomparable to all the material things this world offers...

I will not hesitate to be in Paradise with You...

"Gemir."...

I have found my ending...

It is indeed finished my Lord...

I think of ending my life using my own hands...

Ending this purposeless life I live...

But finding You actually is the real ending...

Only You can fulfill my heart's desire...

Only You can destroy that darkness that lives inside me...

That darkness who pushes me to end this life...

You destroy that darkness...