"The Demon Inside ME"

"The Demon Inside ME"

This shadow keeps on following me wherever I go. Hiding in dark places where people can't see it. I can feel it crawling towards me sometimes. Other times I could see it concealing itself at the back of the door or under the stairs. I tried running away from it, but alas, my legs failed me this time. This shadow has come to show me its face. My hands are trembling, my legs are shaking.

"Why are you always running away from me?" the shadow said. I can't utter a single word. My whole body is paralyze.

"Don't be afraid of me. Accept me wholly." after the shadow saying this I collapsed. Then everything in me changes. You wouldn't believe me.

It feels like I've been in coma for a long time, but what I am seeing now is totally strange. I am inside the jail wearing a jacket with a long sleeves that restrains me from doing harmful things. Then those eyes, the eyes of all the people whom I know are staring at me.

"See, I told you a long time ago that you can only trust yourself and me. By accepting me as part of you, I'm showing you the reality," the shadow whispered in my ears. Its words are breaking my skull and brain.

"No! Shut up! I'm not you! Leave me alone!"I screamed. Then I struggled and was able to free myself from this jacket. I covered my ears to prevent myself hearing its words. But it keeps on echoing, feels like it was engraved inside my head.

For a very long time I haven't seen the faces of these people who plays an important role in my life. There they are outside looking at me, pitying me. I saw a woman with a curly hair crying and being consoled by someone who looked like me and a man who might be my father. Besides them are the women wearing a habit and praying with their rosary and together with them is a man named Toto. Far from them is a man who looked afraid, ashamed and regretful. After seeing this man I could feel pain and happiness. He made me feel crazy. He made me a mad woman.

Then the shadow spitted,"Now, I show you the people who created me. Actually, there are still others who are coming to see you in this suffering state. I tell you now, accept me and you will be free from this prison. You can do what you wanted."

One by one, those people left the room. Except for one, he went closer the bars, "I'm sorry. I just want to help you. I don't want to see you like this. I know that you're intelligent and strong to get over this." then he left crying.

"Hahahahaha! Sorry??? For what??? Damn all of you! You don't know how I feel! You don't understand me!" I screamed while crying.

"So you're going to accept my alliance. You know that without me you can't fulfill your heart's desire." the shadow said.

"You mean you'll help me fulfill what I desire the most?" I replied

"Yes, I know that you don't want to fear dying by your own hands. Accept me and you will be free."