Thoughts

Journal

Writing, I love it and I fear it. That may seem complicated, and I can tell you yes my feelings about writing are complicated. How can I fear something I love to do? I think it begins with asking myself these questions: "Who am I to write?", "Who do I think I am?", "Are you just an imposter, a hipster?", "Are you trying to go down in history like some Thoreau or Twain?", "What is the motive?" 

We all learn from each other beginning with when we are born. We see things we like and imitate them. Why should this only largely be accepted at the adolescent age and not at older ages? Most people, I believe, have already settled in with what they're comfortable with. I'm this kind of person, I do these kinds of things, with these kind of people.  And we see others as you're that kind of person, you do these kind of things, with those kinds of people. We take comfort in this, knowing the rhythm of things. 

People are condemned for changing, trying to be like someone else. If you've lived one way for a set amount of time and then decide to veer in a different direction, you're an imposter. You're trying to be someone else. It's not only the groups you've become different from, but the groups you're becoming more like. No longer do you have an exact association or connection to how you were living but also not an exact association or connection with how you want to live. When you change the rhythm of things you're out there walking to your own beat, and it might be difficult to find others with similar rhythm. Some people may be weary of your beat, fearing it won't go with the rhythm they walk to.  

There are people we should look up to in this world, things they do that we want to do. Changing shouldn't be discouraged, it should be embraced and supported. People are leaving behind part of themselves they didn't like to become more like how they want to be. As we are changing, we might find that this change we are making isn't for us making us have to change again leaving behind, once again, something we don't want to be to become something more like we want to be. 

I fear writing because its not a part of who I've been my whole life, but that's why I love it too. It's me changing to become more of a person I enjoy being.