Will You?

Lay me down

You want to go back

To the way that happened last year

You had your change

And gave it up

I am not ready

For a boy

To ask me out again

I am sick of this

I long for someone to hold me

Yet I wish it was just a friend

No strings attached

To complicate things

 

I want to be able

To feel protected

Without expectations

Freedom yet not free

I want to be not connected

 

I want just a hand to hold

To be not alone

Yet I don’t want to lie

A kiss

Until I know that is right

I believe in fairy tales

Still…

It might be cause

I have be denied the right

For a boy to look at me

Like I am a goddess

I watch friends in their relationships

Be held and comforted

In the time…….

They have pain

The world is so cold

For a girl like me

 

I am sick of this pain

And being lonely

It’s a constant battle

To let my self

I am girl of many crushes

To ones

Who shall return it

 

Yet pain is still the same

For those like me

Yet I have seen others

Find the one

I am through with

Being self pity to day

Yet I don’t know the way

Or how if I will ever stop

 

Those are my thoughts

Share yours with me

Will you?

Reviews

[C.M.]

1. This poem needs better structure. I know that this is free style, and free style is meant to be free, but even freestyle has some patterns. This is more like you are righting a story with unneccesary paragraphs and lines in it.
2. You used the word 'Yet' way too many times. I would have been fine with this if it had some structure, like I mentioned before, but since it was just used at random it seemed like an echo. Try sitting down with a thesaurus and coming up with new words; it seems less repetitive, and won't tire the reader of you saying the same thing over and over again.

[Coyote Poetry]

A lot of good wisdom in your words. Better to walk slow and easy into anything. Life can be hard when we rush in and the possibilities of error. I like the complete poem. Good logic in this outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote