Footprints in the sand

My own version of the famous footprints in the sand.

***

I am walking alone,

With my head's down

Foot naked along the sand

Admiring the beauty of the nature

Listening to the song of the sea

Looking beyond the vastness of the place

Wondering over the horizon

I was a sinner, and is still one

I had walked the wrong path

Drinking liquids of lies,

Smoking sticks of death,

And jamming in to hallucinations

It made my heart grow sober

Made my mind go weaker

And my faith dying

Everything seems heavy

My eyes soaked in tears

And then someone came near

Explored the beauty along with me

I inhaled deeply the freshness of the air

And together we raised our arms higher

It felt goos

So good that a tear tastes sweet fell

Then a salty water splashed at my face

I was awakened, no one was around

I was all alone,

Yet it felt good as if someone had been really there

And then I looked around, searching

Then i found my own footprints in the sand, 

Walking along his path.

PRAISE GOD!

Reviews

[Michael Jarrell]

Very nicely written. I had a hard time reading it because it was kind of like toying with my emotions. It was happy, then it was sad, then it was happy, then I wasn't sure how to feel. But that might have been your point... or I might have read it wrong... or maybe I'm just desperate to find a happy piece of work on writerscage. Regardless, its sill a nice job!

[Karli]

Beautiful.

[E.H. Monroe]

Dump the praise god. Its repetitive for the crowd who knows footprints.

This is better then the collection of "he loves me" poems. The description is better collected. This is the real feeling.

[paul]

beautiful and inspired

[mir]

Very nice write about your peaceful experience of walking in the beauty of nature while pondering on thoughts of difficult times you've had in the past, then ending your poem in a joyful feeling of content and spiritual happiness! Your version of the original poem is an outstanding write---great job! : )

[kaylynnmelody♥]

Footprints in the Sand by Unknown, was that the inspiration for this!? Praise God, Indeed!

[InkSlinger]

Pretty good little read, enjoyed your take on this..
I would caution you to go back and read this out loud... the flow is off just a little, making it feel a little rough, it would really pack a punch, if in your reading you changed up a few simple phrases in your wording..
ie:
1. "I am walking alone"... I walk alone.

The second stanza could really pop with a few slight changes..
I was a sinner, I still am
I walk the wrong path
Drinking liquid lies,
Smoking sticks of death,
And lost to my hallucinations

Over all a solid write.

[KAREN]

Beautiful piece! Heart warming a joy to read!

[Stef Outsiders]

wow... i really felt this poem! i pictured myself placing foot prints in the sand...

[SilentSKY]

That is excellent. Very deep, filled with emotion. :)