CHAPTER 1: (Edited)

Shaky hands. Heart pumps really, really loud. It was my third day here in Canada and I feel like an innocent little girl left in this odd new place. I washed my hands and face as I fixed myself in front of this very wide mirror. I looked really pale so I grabbed my vanity kit out of my bag. Put a red lipstick and a pinkish shade of blush on my cheek. I explored the rest of the restroom. It was a spacious, clean and well-lighted place. “So this is how it feels like to be in a “first world” country. I said to myself. Everything here looks really elegant. I was  flabbergasted. It looks really different compared to the place where I grew up. I was all alone and that gave me the chance to took lots of pictures of myself. I went inside and outside of the cubicle. Took pictures from every corner with different poses. I stayed there for a couple of minutes, had my last shot and was about to go out when a boy came in.

 

  He was about five inches taller than me. He was running really fast that he knocked towards me and we both fell straight to the floor. 

 

 “What the?!”. I stood up as quick as I could, pushed him and  was about to scream when he locked the door and rushed near me. He covered my mouth and held my hand. “ Please stay calm. I won’t to anything bad to you. Just help me, please”. I threw my bag at him thinking that he was after my money. “Yo-you can have my bag, just please don’t kill me”, I said nervously. 

 

  He picked up my bag from the floor and gave it back to me.  “ Hey miss. Don’t’ you know me? I’m Justin Bouvier”, he said while catching his breath back. “Justin Bouvier? You’re a thief now? I thought you’re a singer?”. I replied, nearly yelling at him.

 

 “No, silly. Fans and paparazzi are everywhere and I can’t go out of the mall. Please, do me a favor. Help me”.

 

 I was still under a star struck state and I could sense that my brain is malfunctioning. This incident is quiet unbelievable. I was not really a fan of him but, this made my heart pound as if an avid fan met his ultimate idol. 

 

 “He-he-help you? H-how?” 

 

 “Let’s exchange clothes and get out of this room together. Please. I really have to get out of here”.

 

 “ Are you crazy? I would exchange clothes with you, but go out with you? I think that would be really  impossible. I’m just new here and I don’t want to be in trouble.”

  

 He begged really, really hard. He looked at me and hold my hands. “Please young lady, help me. I will do something in return for you”. The way he stares at me made me feel like cupid’s playing with me. I was mesmerized with his eyes and that made me agree with him.

 

 “Thank you miss. Thank you so much”. We went inside the cubicles and threw our clothes at each other. When we’re done. He asked me to put make up on him. I put a bright red lipstick on him, a blush on his cheeks and a very dark eye shadow. “Wow, look at you. You looked really, really stupid”,  I said while giving him a  smirk and he looked really pissed.

 

  I went outside the restroom first  wearing his black pants, red supra shoes, red plain shirt, brown jacket accessorized with a silver dog tag and black cap that covered my hair while he followed me, walks awkwardly with my high-heeled Jimmy Choo, black little dress showing his manly arms and carrying my red hand bag. He’s beautiful but he looks like a gay though.  The coast is clear but I could still hear flashes of cameras and screams of his’ name. He’s texting through his I-phone while I was trying my best to hide him. His plan is getting successful when a young girl screamed, “There he is!”. He drags me and run as fast as we could as the crowd goes near us. 

 

 Good thing, a tall and dark man came near and opened a car. He pushed me in and  closed the door as fast as he could. The man drove a red 2011 Mercedez-Benz SLS-class car and gets out of the place in a speed of light.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[SpokenWord]

Oh I would love to visit a new country and have Nicole Kidman come into the bathroom like that needing my help!

Of course off the bat I am wondering what country is the main character from, and why is she in Canada now. Was there someone to meet her and will they miss her now that she has been shoved into a car. The star is interesting reminds me new kids on the block for some reason, but why did he think that dressing up as her would fool anyone? A man in a dress is still a man in a dress after all. and if they got a picture of him in that dress can you imagine the headlines in the papers? If I was his manager I would have a good talking with him for that decision.

I think this had action that was exciting and I could visualize it happening them running him in her heels and her in his red shoes. I wonder will something more happen between them?

[Alicka]

This was a good chapter, but you need to work on grammar I found a lot of misused word in just the few paragraphs. Also missing a few word in some of your sentences.
**I was all alone and that gave me the chance to took lots of pictures of myself."
**I was all alone and that gave me the chance to take lots of pictures of myself." Replace the word "took" with the word "take"
*"He was about five inches taller than me. He was running really fast that he knocked towards me and we both fell straight to the floor."
**He was about five inches taller than me. He was running really fast that he knocked into me and we both fell straight to the floor.** Take out the word "towards" me. Is sounds a little weird in the sentence.

[kaylynnmelody♥]

Thanks for a great chapter!

[iamcarolfierce]

Thanks for the feedback. :) I'm open for suggestions guys.

[KAREN]

Nice chapter! Keep me posted!

[Worms]

I like this so far
but I agree with SpokenWord that it needs a little bit more background
maybe a flashback in chapter 2?
but looks great so far