Headcase

A poem about some old feelings around an old flame...

Am I some headcase?

or perhaps a fool?

I didn't stop myself from trying

and perhaps became a tool

Am I allowed this pain,

and should I see reprimand

for still feeling this way?

It's not like anyone understands

I've almost forgotten how it hurt,

but maybe that's a good thing

Maybe I was saved from the worst

and am guilty only of remem'bring

I wanted just a bit

and felt so much

The most she'd move was an inch

and our hearts never touched

What do I say to 2019 me?

Do I tell him that he's stupid?

or do I let him be?

Would he even listen?

What am I supposed to do

with these memories?

I can't strike them from my mind,

but they still infuriate me

I guess I learned a lot

and I was awoken

I just wish I could've learned

without my heart being broken

I won't admit defeat

even if there's still hurt

I want to forget it all,

but I know that's not how memory works

Author's Note

opinions welcome