Empty world

Wrote this quickly

"Hello? Anyone out there?"

Wailed the lost child.

She was all alone in an empty world.

No-one could hear her,

The silence muffled her screams,

The hidden echo bounced through the carved valleys.

She lay alone,

The cold beat her,

It hit her,

Time and time again.

She bled into the ice.

Although she was alone,

She heard the voices;

She knew they were there.

But every way she looked,

Every corner she turned,

She was all alone.

A dark pain gripped her,

A firm grip held her still,

Shrivelled in a ball she cried.

Emptiness ripped through her,

She must surely be doomed.

The ice cold world was harsh,

It never forgave.

A lesson the child learnt.

Author's Note

Sorry for the crapness, I wrote it very quickly.

Reviews

[Brittany W]

This isnt crap, i really enjoyed this, you can really feel the emotions, i loved it.

[Kes]

I thought I already reviewed this? Oh well...
Rosy, I love this! It's so graphic! It's terrifying! I know it's probably a bit crazy of me to love such a dark poem, but I just... I just do. It's great!
You got to realise your talent, girl! lol
No, I mean it; this is very detailed and it portrays perfectly how emotions feel - how they come at you like a physical blow... And how sometimes it really hurts.
Great write, Rosy. I mean it.

[Hellslastwarrior]

Wow this is a really nice story very detailed and it has alot of different perseptions. I like what you said about you didnt care about peoples veiws on your age, fair play. To me your writing shows ur mature for your age. Great poem 100/100 keep it up Rosy.
If ya like check out some of my work.

[sammyj]

I like it.