Tell

I thought I was in love. I really did. I met him when I was only fourteen years old. He was fifteen. We were both freshmen in high school and both nervous about the new environment. We started dating a few months after school started. I was so in love with him. He was my first love too. He was my first kiss too. I could remember it like it was yesterday. It was a cold night and we were walking around town and out of no where he grabs me and just pulls me into this wonderful kiss. My nerves were going crazy. He was my first everything if you want the complete truth. I thought I would be with him forever. We were never apart not even for a day. I couldn’t see that he was isolating me. I couldn’t see that he was keeping my friends from me because, I was that sucked into what he was telling me. He sucked me in with every adoring thing he said. The day he told me that he loved me was what I thought would be the greatest time of my life. After that I was just completely drawn in. I would do anything for him. All he had to do was ask me to do something and I would do it in a heartbeat. Months went on and on and I just fell more and more in love with him. He always treated me with love. He held me close to him, kissed me passionately, opened doors for me, paid my way into places, and bought me gives. He did everything for me. On our four year anniversary was the first day he ever laid a hurtful hand on me. I don’t even know what I did. All I remember was him yelling at me and slapping me. I actually fell on the floor. I can remember looking up at him holding my face and tears in my eyes. I remember exactly what he said to me. He knelt down next to me and put my face in his hands, “I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to.” He picked me up and hugged me. He even cooked me dinner that night. I didn’t think anything of it. I believed him. I believed that he was sorry and that he didn’t mean to. Believing him was the biggest mistake of my life. Days went on and on and he kept hitting me. He would kick me, slap me, and punch me. He made me believe that it was my fault, that he hit me because, he loved me or that I even deserved it. I had to go to the hospital at one time he beat me so bad. He told them that I had fallen down the stairs of his house and I agreed with him because, I loved him and I didn’t want him to get in trouble. I forgave him every time that he hit me. Every time that he beat me or yelled at me I forgave him. I believed I loved him and I believed he loved me. I never told a soul why I was so bruised or why I had become an introvert. I didn’t want him getting arrested. I didn’t know what I would do without him. My nineteenth birthday changed everything. He had thrown me a party and after everyone left he beat me once more and broke my jaw. He said that I had flirted with his friend and that I had to be punished for doing so. I hadn’t done anything like that and I knew it. That day after he had fallen asleep, I left. I drove my car to my best friends house and I told her. I told her everything. From start to finish.

Reviews

[AyJayP]

Hi Frankie,
I like this. It reads like a testimonial, and very powerfully so. The short sentence structure (each sentence well chosen) conveys the simplicity of young love, first love, and the vulnerability. Really honest and effective, I think.

I haven't been giving ratings because that system makes my brain twist up a bit. Giving a score implies that the piece is better or worse than other things I've read (generally, or just on this site?). And it's the proverbial apples to oranges thing. How do I rate your short piece compared to a poem, or a novel chapter, or something in a totally different genre? Anyway, I've just been commenting on pieces that drew me in, to offer encouragement.