bits and pieces: back in action!

just pats of things.

so i finally decided it was about time for another "Bits and Pieces" sort of thing since i haven't been able to do anything with all these ideas. (i don't know if i've actually posted a "bits and pieces" on writerscafe before, so if i haven't then i'll explain what it is... if it's not obvious enough. bits and pieces are just a collection of things i've started but have never finished and most likely never will. every now and then i'll go back to them and revise it or shorten it or just redo the whole god damn thing and post it as an independant poem.

 

-----

 

I don’t want this to be a one kiss poem

Or another stab in the dark.

This shouldn’t be just a note or a letter

It should be something you keep close to your heart

 

-----

 

wishing you were here

songs seem slower

faces more pale

voices lower.

 

kissing this bottle of beer

it's mouth at my lips

i'm wishing it was you

at my finger tips.

 

----

 

no, i'm not happy just trying to get by,

in case you were wondering,

i'm tired of hearing you try to justify.

 

what would happen if i said that

through all the s**t in the world

that i still fell in love with this girl?

that no matter what's keeping me up at night

she still makes me feel alright.

that i know when things aren't working out,

when i'm not winning the fights,

all i've got to do is crawl home

call her up

and hear her pick up the phone.

and you know what?

i don't even need to hear her voice, 

just her breath in the mic

just to know she's safe

so i can finally get some sleep at night!

 

-----

 

lately I’ve been in this daze,

things have felt a little hazy

and what I think I remember

is just a little crazy

but I’ve been stuck like this for days.

 

-----

 

 

The dawn always bends before it breaks

And the sun always gives before it takes.

So in the few moments where the sun has yet to take the sky,

but the moon has given up its stars

While we stand in the universe’s afterglow

This universe is ours.

 

-----

 

You’re out there,

Somewhere,

Among the car exhaust

City lights

And dancing shadows.

I don’t know where,

I don’t know if I’ll ever find you,

I don’t know if you even want me to,

But I can’t stop looking.

 

-----

 

I didn’t think I had taken to reading fiction

But the letters you wrote

Were cleverly written

And the words that you spoke

Were said with most misleading diction.

 

The fictionary dictionary

Of an ordinary fairy tale 

 

-----

 

hey there

silly girl

I see what you’re doing

I know what you’re thinking

But do you?

 

You’re all mixed up

In a whirl

Not sure what you want

Not sure what you need

But you’ve got what you want

You just cant see.

 

-----

 

 

All is black

I open my eyes

They hurt as it takes a while for them to adjust.

There’s a room in front of me,

I must be sitting in a chair.

There’s a figure standing there in front of me,

I can see black boots and a camouflage suit.

Oh hey! It’s TJ!

Haha, I wonder how he’s doing.

He’s looking at me, smiling.

I don’t know what he’s thinking.

 

Maybe he’s thinking about when we were kids?

When we would climb trees and rocks,

And play cops and robbers

With invisible locks.

 

TJ, what a guy,

We stuck together through thick and thin.

He was right there with me

when I was down on the ground,

beaten and bloodly,

and him just the same.

We’d never let the other get away,

And we’d never let the other get left behind.

 

 ----- ( i for some reason couldn't figure out how to keep it going so restarted it and came up with what's next. i like them both and want to find a way to sort of mesh them.)

 

 

I opened my eyes one day

To see my best friend,

The guy who had run away from girls with me in the first grade,

Who had set me up with my first girlfriend in grade nine,

The same guy who had built tree forts with me,

Gone fishing with no bait with me,

Was there through thick and thin for me,

Who went to war with me...

He was standing there in front of me.

Music coming from somewhere,

A sad melody with an up and down tune,

As if it were bouncing back and forth

Between anger and celebration.

A powerful sound.

And as I looked at him

I could see he was smiling,

Standing there in his soldier gear,

Standing there a man and smiling.

I look again and he’s standing there,

Crying.

I look a third time,

He’s holding a violin,

Leaning into it as he plays,

Tears running down his cheek,

Down the ribs of the rosewood body,

Falling fast to the hardwood floor.

Smiling, crying and playing,

With the sound of the violin wailing.

I start to feel the glass against my cheeks,

The dryness of my eyes as I can no longer blink.

Where am i?

Where was i?

where am I going?

Am I even going anywhere?

 

Something catches my eye,

There’s a mirror on the wall behind him,

And as he sways with the music,

I see myself behind a pane of glass

Frozen

Forever with a smile on my face

And my dog at my feet.

She was my best friend.

So still and so happy

Even I have a hard time

Seeing the panic in my eyes.

What happened?

 

The music keeps playing

And I’m so glad it does.

Anything’s better

Than hearing the bombs outside.

 

-----

 

Screaming at the walls,

scratching and bleeding,

not to get out,

but to find a way to let you in. 

 

-----

 

I... am terrible at time travel.

I came back to watch us grow old together

To see our first kiss,

Our first date,

And to hear when we first admitted we loved each other.

 

You aren’t supposed to interfere with anything

When you travel back in time,

You know?

And you have to be specific with what time you’re aiming for...

Otherwise it’s just new years all over again.

 

Had I read the instructions a little more carefully

I don’t think I would be in this predicament.

Sitting in a booth at the parlour

Sitting in what used to be, well,

What should be..

Eventually...

If I knew what I was doing...

Our booth.

 

I’m not sure what it is I did

But it must have ended up as something big.

Something terrible

Monstrous

Evil and disastrous.

If I remember,

There was nothing that could have torn us apart.

We were beside each other til the end.

 

...

 

I don’t know what it was that I did...

Maybe I stepped on a bug or kicked a rock or something...

Things are different now, I’ve been watching this

this movie i can't turn off

in a role i can't get out of

for years.

 

watching you grow old with him,

share what should be our stories with him,

kiss him on the lips like you should be kissing mine,

well, 

the lips mine used to be...

 

-----

 

Foggy Faces in windows

Finger taps on windows in the rain

Whispers blowing between the trees

Steady footsteps with the ticking of a grandfather clock.

A door is opened

The squeak of hinges announce a presence

A cold body wisps around the room

Before leaving with the slam of the door and its jamb.

A flurry of faces wash around the windows

Their finger-taps frantic

The whispers panicked

Footsteps not fading nor gaining.

Lightening lashes out

The faces now witness

To the dark clad figure the flash let in

Standing still against the wall.

Standing, lurking there.

The whispers are howls now.

 

-----

 

This is jerry. Jerry’s a nice fellow. I know you can’t see jerry, to you, all jerry is going to be is just words on a page and maybe a few a paragraph break or two.  And all I am is just your own perceived voice of whoever you think wrote this short look into who Jerry is. Maybe I’m Jerry’s lover, maybe I’m his brother, his sister, a friend, or maybe just someone who Jerry spilled a few things to, or maybe I’m just Jerry. Either way, it’s up to you to who I am. I am surrendering my identity to you, Jerry however, is about to be made a whole lot more real to you. From words on a page, to an idea, from an idea, to a face in a crowd, from a face in a crowd, to someone you might know, from there, to someone you’ll go out of your way to find. 

 

(i don't really know what that's supposed to be, but what i wanted to do with it was basically just describe someone who is basically Forrest Gump, only without being so slow. i mean that as in he just does what makes sense and really doesn't get the whole "people will think i'm weird?" kind of thing. so he's just himself, and brutally honest about that in every respect, but by the end of it the goal is to be describing someone everyone knows, a person or character that people can see in someone else and suddenly why they are that way could make sense. maybe? i'm not sure. really.)

 

-----

when i was little i hated taking showers

beacuse i missed my rubber ducky.

now i'm older 

and holding tiger lilly flowers

because i miss my little guppy.

 

i guess things don't change much

when you grow up,

you still miss the simplest things,

even as a grown up.