These Gritty Words.

A Poem by i.am.the.sun.

i wrote this after i had agreed to a job where i would have to leave her for 8 weeks. sure, we hadn't really started much together, but i soon realized that just wouldn't do... i stayed.

if i could write all the things i would miss about you

i would need to invent a new language,

a new alphabet

with new words

and fresh ideas and emotions

attached to those words.

these words are merely letters,

letters combined to convey ideas,

ideas that apparently meant something to someone

at sometime.

with these letters i could write every word in every language

a thousand times,

none of them would be enough.

it's not that you don't strike me with ideas,

no,

that's far from the truth..

when i look at you,

when i hear your voice,

when you cross my mind,

ideas take second place.

I get lost in euphoria,

feeling,

emotion,

if there were letters to make up the right words,

words that don't quite exist,

that would convey exactly what you do to me,

then maybe i could actually write something for you,

maybe then i could show exactly what you make me feel.

I know a lot of people,

you're someone i know,

you're something more than that.

there's a lot of people i think are pretty,

you're a very pretty girl,

but you're so much more than beautiful.

there's a lot of things out there that make people think,

i'm drowned by you in my thoughts,

but you're something more than just ideas.

a lot of people make me smile

and you make me smile the most,

the longest,

the hardest,

the most genuine,

and the more rewarding,

but...

there's something behind the smile you give me,

something lighter than air,

it must be.

i feel like i'm floating there alongside you,

suspended in my dreams when i sleep.

you're wonderful, beautiful,

absolutely amazing and astounding.

and those words are mere shadows of ideas

that fell so short of describing you.

you're every possible poem i could write,

you keep me up and you make me dream.

you get me up in the morning

and you make me want to stay in bed forever,

as long as you're there to keep me company.

you make me hold my breath

and leave me gasping for air,

but most of all...

you make me stumble over my words,

these gritty, bulky, archaic words,

these words i can't stop writing for you.

© 2011 i.am.the.sun.

Author's Note

at this moment, i would like to say "fuck capitalization," as i didn't write this in MS Word first and i'm not going to bother going through it and correcting all the lower case "i"s.
on the other, nicer hand, i would like to say that i could keep writing things like this for what could seem like forever, and still never get close to saying what i want to.