Selfishness.

just me ages ago batting some ideas around in my head, putting them up for conversation and debate.

the following was written over a series of hours, so view change with my mood.



is it selfish to miss someone?
if your partner died, would it be selfish to wish them alive again?

if, after they died, you fell had over heels in love with something, anything, work, music, pet, another person, food, your lamp, ANYTHGING. and that love completely and utterely overshadowed your feelings for your passed friend, you would then move on. you would come to terms with the fact they're gone, isnt that how it works? you dont move on until you learn to love again, no? so having them (first spouse, now gone or dead, whatever, just follow the point) fill your heart and having them there to love - you love that. what you love is having that space filled, when they pass away, that space is still there, however its empty. it may be reserved for that person still, but theres nothing going in there filling that space. and tahst when you miss, you miss having that thing to love, to show you care etc. people who mourne their losses are ones who cant figure out that that hole will remain empty until its filled again... simple much? so find something to love! convince yourself if need be.

-its not selfish to love someone
- loving someone is caring for them, wishing them the best, etc.

-missing someone is selfish
- your missing having that hole in your hert filled by your fancy, a side effect that you recive when that special person enteres your life - you feel complete, or at least moreso than before. so, wishing the unfortunate event that occured to them didnt happen is find, your wishing no harm to them.

so missing someone is selfish, because you're missing the space they filled in your heart, meanwhile, you could fill that space with anything. if youi miss someone, you wantt them back, either they dont want to come back, or they cant. so why prolong your agony, and possibly theirs, when you can simply tell yourself to get over it and move on? replace what used to fill that hole with something, if even its only temporary. pour your efforts into an art of sorts, anything really. just as long as you dont feel lonely or like you have a hold inside you you're fine. if you still love them, then you would wish that they were one filling that hole insted of whatever you replaced it with. even if whatever you replaced it with is doing a fine job, even if its doing a better job, at filling the hole they once used to. if you want them because you lonely, thats selfish, if you want them bceause you would prefer them to anything else.