Luke and myself.

i dont really know what this is.

on a quiet saturday, something strange happend to me. My son, who was playing in the living room, suddenly went quiet. i could actually hear the birds ourside and footsteps of passersby, instead of the voiced car noises and explosions that Luke was so amused with. i was going over the mail on the kitchen table, looking over bills, flyers, credit card waivers and other offers when little Luke ran up to me with wild innocence in his eyes and grabbed my leg. He wasn't more than twice the height of my knee, being small for his age. then he asked me a question. i never could have guessed he was so inquizitive. the conversation went something like this: 

L: Dad? Dad. did you know I'm really strong? 
M: yes, Luke, i knew you were really strong. you're the stongest person on earth! 
L: how did you know? 
M: because, im your dad, i have this knowledge. 
L:what is knowledge? 
M:hmm, knowledge is fact, as i understand it. 
L: what is fact? 
M: fact is fiction which hasn't been disproved. 
L: then what's fiction? 
M: fiction would be fact or something else that was proven wrong. 
L: what's wrong? 
M: wrong is dissagreeing with the rules. 
L: what are rules? 
M: rules are what we've decided is right. 
L: what is right? 
M: right is what people find normal. 
L: what's normal? 
M:normal is a censored version of ideas. 
L: what are ideas? 
M:ideas are you thoughts, Luke. you have them, everybody does. 
L: what are my thoughts? 
M: peoples thoughts are opinions they have based on experiences. 
L: what's an experience? 
M: experience is an emotion gained from past events, like a memory. 
L: what's an emotion? 
M: an emotion is like a feeling. 
L: what's a feeling? 
M: well, love is a feeling. 
L: what is love? 
M: well... uhm, love is... yourself not coming first anymore. 
L: what? 
M: it's knowing something or someone means more to you than you do. 
L: like what? 
M: well you're my son, i love you, and your saftey comes before mine. your mom is my wife, i love her too. her happiness, health, and wellbing comes before mine too. 
L: how do you know you love someone? 
M: it's easier to know the ones you don't love, the ones left over are the ones you love. 
L: how do you know someone loves you? 
M: they show you they love you. 
L: how do you show someone you love them? 
M: you have to apply the idea of love, like put it into action and let them know they have a place in your heart by doign something special for them. 
L: does doing that for them prove you love them? 
M: no, since anyone can do those things even when they dont love the person. 
L:then how do you prove love? 
M: you can't. you just have to believe in it. 
L: like god? 
M: like god... you need to trust that it's there and put your faith in it. if you're right, the reward for love if unbleivable, like heaven. 
L: so you can't prove it then? 
M: no, i guess you cant, not really. 
L: well can you disprove it? 
M: yes, it can be disproven. 
L: well, how? 
M: it can only really be disproven if the person who is supposed to be in love admits they are not and isn't lying.
L: but telling someone that you love them doesnt mean you do? 
M: it doesn't always. some people can lie. it can be true if you mean it, and you, Luke, should only ever mean it when you say it. the problem is that the person someone says they love doesn't have any way of knowing for sure without a little bit of faith. they need to really trust the person and believe that they're telling the truth. love is weird that way, son. 
L: i dont get it. 
M: well, what do you think love is? 
L: well if it can't be proven, and can only be disproven, and needs faith for someone to believe it, it sure sounds like it's what you said that fiction thing was. 
M: well there's a lot of things you cant prove, like justice, freedom, freewill, random, intentions, and there's more too. they're just ideas. 
L:and ideas are what we make normal? 
M:ideas are what make up normality, yeah. 
L: so it's normal to beleive fiction is fact? 
M: well, kind of. 
L: if it's not fact, why would someone believe it? 
M: because... it makes the world worthwhile. 
L:why isn't it already? 
M: because... never mind, you dont need to know. the world is an amazing place, full of amazing people and amazing little children with wild imaginations full of great questions. one day, Luke, you'll fall in love and realize some things that just can't be proven really do exist, and its wonderful. 
L: like dragon!? 
M:...like dragons... 

and as he ran off back into the other room again to get ready to fight dragons with his invisiable sword, i was left pondering what i had just told him. if i belive in love... whats so difficult about believeing in dragons? how did a little boy who just asked me simple questions make me do a double take on what i've based my life around? he just led me to try and rationalize a paradox with means and terms i had already determined, leaving it impossible to make sense of! maybe physicists and mathematicians have it all wrong, maybe we should look at the simple questions again...

Reviews

[Sunni Davis]

Its amazing how children view the world and make adults look at it differently. I love the curiosity of childhood. This was a great story. Well written!