The Giants Address

After the failure of the Apollo 11 mission, we learned a hard lesson that we would never forget. The technology that got us there would not be the same that would get those brave souls back, no matter how much we believed it would be. It was a dark day when we heard that transmission from the crew of Apollo 11, a day made darker in contrast to how gloriously bright it was made by the initial success of those heroic men. 

Legends speak of giants as great titans which could touch the sky, beings who made the earth tremble with each step, which no man could defeat, and which would only be put to rest when they laid down to become mountains. Even now these giants exist, though seem so rare in this new and advancing world. These men were as giants were spoken of in legends, these men could not be barred by the restrictions of human nature, these men shook the earth as they broke the sky, these men had gone where titans could only dream of going- these men were among gods of older legends... Not mere flesh and bone, but of dark and light, life and death, of creation. And there is where they rest, laying as mountains upon our moon. They will be there forever, as who are we to disturb giants? 

But as every man's last words deserve to be heard, it was our duty as fellow humans to investigate their log books upon our eventual return to the Apollo 11 site just 4 months ago. It was a very emotional time for all of us: the crew, the officers, every staff member involved in getting that ship in the air, and more importantly- getting it back down again, and all our listeners out there all over mother Earth. 

I cannot tell you how it must have been for the crew of Hermes 1, laying eyes upon the men from years before them, suited up and still as rock, gazing at their visor and seeing only their reflection. But there was one man who could, and before he was released from this life not 2 weeks ago after a gruelling and heroic three and a half month battle with foreign infection, he did. He told me, ''Sir, I don't know why I tried to look into that helmet. I knew very well the gold layering on it doesn't much let someone see inside it, but it was just habit.'' He said, ''I was taught to look people in the eyes, and after finally meeting my hero I wasn't about to insult him like that and forget. I did look to meet his gaze, no matter how dead it may have been, but when I did all I saw was a mirror...'' And after a pause he added, ''It was a mirror, and inside that mirror I saw my own helmet, another mirror, and inside that was his, and in his was mine, and it just went on forever. I could have looked down into those mirrors for as far as I can look out into the night sky right now, and neither would end. When I looked into that mirror I saw myself in it, and I saw it in myself. And in that moment I felt two things very strongly... Sir, I felt that I had already done this before, and that I was already dead.''
I will not cheapen nor attempt to interpret what Col. Lorr had to say, I will leave them be in your ears as they were meant to be, as I firmly believe Lorr knew exactly what he was saying.

Another action which I would normally never entertain the thought of doing is disclosing information written in a personal log book such as the ones we recovered from the Apollo 11 site to the public, but as current circumstances have it, the family members of one such astronaut felt it appropriate that everyone listening be privy to one entry in particular and took it upon themselves to request that I include and recite a requested entry from one of these logs during this address. I have agreed end this address with the entry as I do not believe I am able to summon the words worthy of following someone who was in such a unique and lonely place. So, if you love your heroes...

Log entry 297

''Home seems so far away from me now. It seems so far away but every other time I look up at the earth I can see it. I can almost reach out and grab it. I can jump and scream and shout but no one will ever hear me. No one will ever see me, even if I can see all of them. 

The only response I get from anything is the shimmer and twinkle of stars, so impossibly far away. So impossibly large, each one an inferno larger than any hell that can be imagined. Just burning and burning, as soon as they were born they all have been burning out. The more violently they burn the brighter they are, and to me it's just a twinkle. It's hard to believe that something so intense and self destructive, something so cosmic and beautiful can just be a twinkle to me... When i look out into the stars I wonder how many are already dead, how many I have just seen die, and how far away they are.

It reminds me that I shouldn't live for others, that sometimes, no matter what I do, or how brilliant and bright I shine, I will just be a twinkle to someone. Or perhaps everyone. I don't regret my life, I've done what I've always dreamed of doing, but now it looks as though I won't have a chance to do it again. I know I'll die here. I know it's ridiculous to still be writing logs... But I haven't ever met a man who died on the moon who told me that it was easy having no one to talk to.

Maybe if people lived just for themselves then the world may be a little nicer. But I guess this would only work if people weren't selfish, and enjoyed being selfless, rather than selfishly living for other people. Oh, I don't know. Life would be much easier up here on the moon though. With all these reminders that we're all just twinkles, I don't think anyone could get carried away with caring too much or getting angry or sad. Because those are just twinkles of twinkles. And that the only thing anyone has is their own enjoyment of their own twinkle.

I mean, I'm about to die on the moon but I'm not that sad about it anymore. Some things I miss, like home. My wife. I hope she can learn to see that this is just a twinkle too. That because she is alive is all the reason she needs to be excited and happy. No, I don't mind dying on the moon anymore, there are many other less interesting places to die.

I do wish i ate more Cracker Jacks though... There are so many little prizes at the bottom of those boxes that i'll never get to know...''