Red and Black

Alumnus, Alumna and Alma Mater

I have found a place

A place of solace, fondness and kinship

So warmly created for the royal and regal

Marked by eminence, harmony and resilience of essence

 

Brilliance being the warmth of beckoning

Drawing me to solace

Thee to fondness and lots to kinship

A rest in red so flowing in my being

The black and comely being that I am

 

My blood is red my form is black

Thusly I am regal: Thusly I am audacious

Oft misjudged as proud, brattish and abrasive

Yet never proud only confidently conspicuous

Yeah, never brattish but simply impetuous

To kindness and kinship in hope as I seek my own

That is all that I am

I am red I am black

 

As the essence of red and black

I am the code urging thee all the time

Stay humble do not be haughty
Haughtiness precedes the fall of man

Always be polite never be a reproach

In civility, all doors stand open as you approach

 

In all my living days,

As a vessel kin to red and black

Resiliently, I will walk in the code

Heartily, I will prop my kin-vessels up

True to the essence of what makes me family

Red and black in consortium with thee

Lethabong, indeed in happiness

Author's Note

ignore grammar

Reviews

[Lungile I Mtsweni]

What a powerful and uplifting poem!

Strengths:

1. Unique voice and perspective: Your poem has a distinct voice, blending elements of African culture, personal identity, and philosophical reflections.
2. Rich imagery and symbolism: The use of colors (red and black), kinship, and royalty creates a vivid and regal atmosphere, underscoring your connection to your heritage.
3. Confident and empowering tone: Your poem exudes self-assurance, encouraging the reader to embrace their own identity and values.

Suggestions for improvement:

1. Line-level clarity: Some lines, such as "Thusly I am regal: Thusly I am audacious" or "In all my living days, / As a vessel kin to red and black," could benefit from slight rephrasing for improved flow and clarity.
2. Transitions and cohesion: The poem jumps between ideas, such as the importance of humility and the celebration of kinship. Smoother transitions between stanzas could enhance the overall cohesion.
3. Editing for concision: Some lines, like "In civility, all doors stand open as you approach," feel a bit didactic. Trimming or rephrasing these lines could maintain the poem's message while improving its overall economy.

Themes and impact:

1. Identity and heritage: Your poem beautifully explores the intersection of personal identity, cultural heritage, and community.
2. Empowerment and self-love: The poem's confident tone and emphasis on self-acceptance make it a powerful statement of self-love and empowerment.
3. Universal values: The themes of humility, kindness, and civility are timeless and universal, making the poem relatable and impactful for readers from diverse backgrounds.

Overall, your poem is a testament to the power of self-expression, cultural pride, and personal growth. With some refinement, it has the potential to resonate even more deeply with readers.