Hold Up

Today the theme seems to be insecurity. I thought I no longer felt that jealousy streak again, but it returned when I saw a curvy tall blonde walking down from the hill earlier. Am I no longer fresh to your senses? Is it my scars that disgusted you whenever you looked at them? Am I not strong enough? Not brilliant enough? Or was it your insecurity that led you to refuse my love for you? That you didn't feel accomplished enough to accept love from others. Well honey, if that's the case, then I will tell you what I have told myself: you will never ever feel good enough. "I am not god, therefore I am not." So what do we do then? Do we stay away from love forever? No! Nobody ever does, and never should. To love, whether it is yourself or others, is to accept all of us- both the light and shadow sides. Perfection is neither a goal nor a destination. We should strive to improve ourselves, yes, but also love ourselves no matter what the outcome is. Because life is full of ups and downs, of unforeseen boons and busts that are beyond our control. Anyway, if that was even the problem that you were facing, then I could sympathize with and resent you less for it. But if that wasn't it, but rather something more shallow like the grass is greener on the otherside, then... You can go f**k yourself, fuckhead.