What Did I Do?

I took away my pain that was so deep,

now my life's over all because of me.

My parents arrived, my best friend too,
I just think what did I do?

 

They zip me in the bag,

my inner self floating away,

my lifeless body sits at bay.

No knives, no guns, but dancing pills at play.

 

Bottle laying empty, cap unscrewed,

I just think, what did I do?

I did this to ease my pain,

Ended up only losing, with nothing to gain.

Reviews

[London's Lily]

"I make a list of today's problems, and I ask myself,
will this matter tomorrow?
will I remember this in a year?
And I divert my attention to thoughts of new plans,
new beginnings,
new possibilities.
And tomorrow, and next year, and five after that,
I look back and realize
I had a lot to learn back then.
I was playing with fire,
and I'm glad that common sense
won."

♥

[Laura Harrison]

"I did this is to ease my pain, ended up only losing, with nothing to gain" That last line is perfect, as is the rest of the poem. Good job.

[zaneybear]

Thank you!!!:) that means so much

[Daffy]

This brought a lump to my throat, Zaneybear. My son is autistic and has dyspraxia as well, he has tried to take his own life three times now. Each time he has been saved by the grace of God. It is so sad, he is so wonderful a son, and everyone loves him. When people feel that life is hard, they should talk to their loved ones. Share their thoughts and sadness and trials. Each day is a challenge for us all. We should all care for, and think of, others. We should especially think of those less fortunate than ourselves. No matter how poorly we are, there is always someone who is struggling with worse!
I think your poem is so very important, and gives that message, that is so important to be heard. Well done for this, and for sharing it in writers' cafe.

[Distantview123]

Suicide never solved anything. By taking that route you leave life as a loser, and you leave one big mess behind for others to deal with. Having said that, I try not to judge. A friend of mine killed himself several years ago, and I still miss him. Those left behind often feel anger, and a sense of betrayal. But, I still miss my friend and think of him often. A thought-provoking write. ~ Robert.

[MikeV]

You paint a wonderful picture with your words, very deep and emotional. I loved it!