The insidious effects of depression hit her so hard, I had to watch her fall, watch her cry. Watch her fake a smile, and live a lie. locked in a dungeon as a dragon would be, the sun didnt exist to her, her life was filled with rain. To wish to leave isn't enough, she needs assurance. She'd need hope to fly out of this hell accompanied by pain.
Her determination to avenge her abusers, turned to kindness in such a subtle way. She'd kill them slowly with smiles, fake the happiness just to bring them down. When they'd be down she'd jump all over them, showing them what they did to her.
I enjoyed this read, and have some empathy with what she is thinking. It isn't easy to fake a smile or fake happiness, especially for someone that has abused you. I hope she manages it, it would be a good way forward.
How about the next verse to let me know how she's doing......
I enjoyed this read, and have some empathy with what she is thinking. It isn't easy to fake a smile or fake happiness, especially for someone that has abused you. I hope she manages it, it would be a good way forward.
How about the next verse to let me know how she's doing......
Not ignoring...it's an effective piece with a message.
"kill them slowly with smiles" ...rage and maturity, always works with me.
Thanks for sharing, and CONGRATS on your award!!
I like this a lot. I especially like that she decides to avenge her abusers with happiness and smiles. Although I wish for her, that they weren't fake, although I know that that feels like. Having to fake happiness and positivity when you don't actually feel it. I like your style and always enjoy reading your work.
I honestly didn't even think this was that good of a piece, I wrote it in like 10 minutes not even f.. read moreI honestly didn't even think this was that good of a piece, I wrote it in like 10 minutes not even for a contest, thank you so much for your kind words
11 Years Ago
I think it's good. You are very talented, whether you know it or not :)
11 Years Ago
thank you so much this means so much coming from you:)