meaning?

I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
But there are no excuses ......
I can't compromise over truth
No never
I'm scared aren't I?
I'm scared nothing has changed
Here I am ....a jr in high school.....
And I am still the same
It's like we're all creaters of habitat
Trapped in a glass cage of
the familiar, spinning, laughing ,drowning
Maybe it's not that bad
Depression is familiar
Dispair is an old freind-
Always around but you get use to them
And in time you would take them over nothing
Who would I be if I wasn't plagued by sleepless nights cutting cravings and pointless depression?
I would not be it has lived in me so long that
That the face I try harder and harder to put on ever day becomes the lie
That is not me anymore
I do not know am or
Would be
Can be
Why am I here?
Is this God's work?
Am I supposed to suffer to help others?
Is he testing my faith right now ?
Did I have to go through all of this ?
I do not know
I can do this I can slowly kill this voice
That is screaming in my chest
And it would grow smaller and smaller
In tell it she speaks no more ....

Reviews

[Jamestown]

Really good work, great questions and I have answers.
Are you supposed to suffer to help others? YES
Is this a test of faith? YES
Did you have to go through all this? YES
The bible, warns of long suffering over 300 times in new testament alone.
It's always a test, life is a test.
Going through tough times is God's way of building your character, Deuteronomy 33:20-21
so I hope that can be of some help.

[child of God]

Yes that kinda does I just don't know if I can take this pain

[Jamestown]

Hang in there kiddo, that's what I tell my daughter, same age as you. Stay connected to God
ask him for guidance and really mean it, and he will definitely step in and help, b-blessed!

[child of God]

Thanks I'm trying I don't think I'm ready for the age 18

[Jamestown]

You will be fine, you are not the only one who has or does feel that way, becoming
a young adult is spooky, but also exciting:)

[child of God]

Thanks yea your right Sr I should be excited about my bday being so close not scared

[Saddam]

Is this God's work?
Am I supposed to suffer to help others?
Is he testing my faith right now ?

It is that I don't believe so much but in Karma. If we are here for the work of God, that's fine let's do it, why thinking then. Do as your heart want. Everyone is expecting with someone, but do what you want, what you expect with yourself. It is my thinking.
Everything will be fine with flow of time, So enjoy your time dear.

[child of God]

Thank you for reading

[AmjadPenboyoflight]

voice of reason is God speaking
listen to internal

power of your writing compels me

[child of God]

Thank you for checking it out I appreciate it

[Daniel Whitaker]

God does have a plan for you. Your writing is so amazing. You and your writing have helped me in this time of trouble. Just hang in there. God knows what he is doing.

[child of God]

Thank you kid

[SmittyJas]

Jamestown must have it right he has done his homework and studied his Bible well. Read on. best wishes and its called growing pains in life I lived through them and so did my daughters who are now in there twenties and still growing.