To Belong

Sometimes, I see myself apart from the world, wandering in an endless sea of people. This poem shares such perspective.

I have always thought that I was different.

That my ways are different compared to other people,

That I think differently from them,

And that I learn to see not just with my eyes or listen with my ears,

But I feel with my heart as well.

For as long as I can remember,

I have always been treated differently.

To be feared upon,

To be looked down upon,

To be an outcast,

Simply because I refuse to be like everybody else.

It has not been my choice to be Different,

Because I have been blessed, or cursed, with a Gift

That only a few people would understand:

A Gift that can see through the masks of other people

And effortlessly see their True Selves.

I do not want to overwhelm people,

And so, I resort to seclusion.

Not because I chose to,

But because, sometimes,

I sense things that I am not supposed to sense.

Whenever I am with people,

Regardless of what I see in them,

I sometimes feel strong emotions

that I know I am not supposed to feel.

I see joy in their faces,

But I feel the cloudiness of sadness in their hearts.

I see anger and vigor,

But I feel loneliness and depression.

I see good company and warmth,

But coldness and indifference is all I feel.

And so, it saddens me a lot to accept these things at once,

And not be able to tell them to the people I care about.

I do not want them to be confused,

And in worst cases, leave me altogether,

With fear that I am trespassing their most deepest, darkest thoughts.

So I keep these with me, my lips pressed together.

Never speaking. Never talking.

But the greatest fear that I have always faced,

Is not an encounter with an extremely evil force,

But with the fear of having to trod this path...

Alone.

I have always yearned to be with my own kind.

To be understood and not misjudged,

To be accepted as I am.

To be treated with love not because I have a Unique Gift,

But because they have seen me as a part of their own.

I see the evils in this world not as an end,

But an invitation to question its existence:

"Why do people behave so badly to other people?"

"Why do people always see fear when they see something different?"

"Why can't people be in a crowd and at the same time, stand up for their differences?"

Are just some of the questions that haunts me before I sleep at night.

They can treat me with indifference,

But I will never be a victim.

Because I believe that I am strong enough to be a victor,

Even when there is no war to begin with.

And I do not seek my revenge to them,

Because, like them, I too have been in their shoes:

To misunderstand the confused,

To betray the trusted,

To ignore the unloved.

And, it is in these moments do I learn to widen my understanding.

To understand them instead of sentencing them,

To put myself in their shoes before I treat them with or without care.

Author's Note

Feel free to comment on this piece. :-)

Reviews

[Daniel Seward]

I can relate to what you are saying. I've always felt a certain alienation, of not fitting in and of sensing underlying thoughts and emotions. I think it helps to find a pet or close friend that is accepting. Through time I have found a few. The beauty of life is that there is teaming variety to it-- look long enough and you will find others like yourself.''
Keep writing,
Dan

[Litheos Ennius Taruc]

Thanks dude. Same to you. :-)