Ruby Red Rose

just a quickie

Ruby Red Rose

A ruby red rose in the garden grows,

wild and free, untended by me.

Thick velvet petals, against a background

of green leafy life, soaking up the sun;

reaching for the sky,

too beautiful to live-too beautiful to die.

I walk on by, clippers in hand...

it's not your time, I leave you to flourish,

untended, wild and free..as nature intended-

a ruby red rose..as beautiful as can be.

Author's Note

not entirely sure where this came from....comments and criticisms welcome :)

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

Now this looks amazing, as you said it is important to enjoy what you write and while you write, I can tell you you were visiting a garden of beautiful plants and flowers in your imagination while writing this.... I loved this... Your word choices were quite fabulous... I'm enjoying your thoughts now mate.. Lovely....

Sincerely,
Dhiman

[hcarson]

thank you, we are attempting to grow flowers here..sadly the cat knocked one into a sink of bleach..not happy haha, thannk you so much for your comments, always appreciate them :)

[Bacchus]

I always admit- I'm not huge on rose poems...
but after reading this one... I might just try my own.

[hcarson]

thank you bacchus, I'm the same..this was a first for me..i prefer writing about doom and gloom if i'm honest...comes more natually for some reason haha ;)...thank you so much for your lovely review, really appreciate it :)

[barleygirl]

Your poem has a nice rhythm, with some unusual rhyming patterns that sound good thru the reading. The message is very well stated with much imagery that I can easily picture in my mind. I like the little climax of mercy when the narrator decides not to cut the rose. My only dissatisfaction is that you use the word "beautiful" too many times . . . it's one of those words that has lost meaning thru over-use in poetry in general. It would be great for you to stretch a little & try to show us such beauty using more creative words or comparisons to other visual delights.

[hcarson]

you are right barleygirl about the word beautiful..i know this sounds silly but i'm not used to writing.well you know nice ones..flowery ones etc..i tend to write more ..miserable i guess..it is what i'm more comfortable with, can express more easily..nicey stuff doesn't come easy...i certainly need to practice it! thank you so much for reading and commenting, i really appreciate it :)

[barleygirl]

This poem is even more awesome, then! It's a big change to go from bleak writing to happy writing, so you've really made a leap & it turned out great! Practice always leads to improvement, so I know you'll get better & better.

[hcarson]

thank you for your encouragment..you should see the one i just posted..you will see what i mean by miserable haha

[V]

Lovely write. I like nature poems though your first line reads almost too short and the combo of untended and intended reads a tad clumsy. But nonetheless you depicted a nice natural scene.

[hcarson]

yea i simply thought and wrote with no work on it, where i have been struggling recently i just get em down when i can haha..may go back and try and improof ..more likely i will forget haha. thanks for reading and your words, appreciated as always :)

[V]

You're welcome. It's better to write it down than to forget, you're right ;) Maybe just include first draft into your author's note. This is what I do when I haven't properly worked it out yet...

[hcarson]

yea, i suppose i could start doing that because all the ones i put up are first drafts but i rarely remember to go back and try and improve them lol...i'd be there for the next month haha butyea i guess i could try and leave a little reminder to myself to come back at a later date :)

[Jacob Clifford]

Sometimes we just need to write these "quickies". This poem is fine for what is it. It has good imagery, and I like the rhyme.

[hcarson]

thank you clifford for reading and your comments, always appreciated :)

[Shannon]

"Background of leafy green life"! Profoundly romantic imagery (even I can see it!).

[hcarson]

aha...thanking you so much si.mi, your words are aways appreciated, hope you are doing well , i need to look at your work i havent been on here properly recently so havent seen it, will be popping over now thank you so much for reading :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

people need to be able to flourish wild and free...if we try to pen them into a small area of a garden, they will rebel...

i like the in-line rhyme in this...very well done...

[hcarson]

thank you so much jacob, i always value your opinions, thank you for reading and your lovely comments very much appreciated :)