A Struggle

ONE STRAIGHT FROM THE HEAD SO HOPE IT MAKES SENSE ;). ITS SORT OF HOW I FELT RECENTLY

A STRUGGLE

Splintering veins,

tearing skin.

So confused,

where to begin?

A stuttered speech.

A mind gone black.

Too late now -

no going back.

Red cells enlarging,

lethergy setting in.

a desire to sleep;

seems life hangs

on a string.

A diabolical pain;

a sigh from within.

I close my eyes - 

my body gives in..

Author's Note

pretty much sums up how things are daily ..such is life :) comments and criticisms welcome and appreciated

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

Feels like a person is extremely exhausted by life's struggles and some painful sickness of body... I can relate to it very much as I'm going through something like that..... I loved how you managed to pour your whole feelings here... Feels like my body is senseless now and my sleeping senses are begging me to close my eyes... Full ratings....

[hcarson]

aww thank you IP,..you pretty much summed it up :) hope you are feeling better and manage to get some uninterrupted sleep ; thanks for your comments and lovely review, always appreciated :)

[V]

Oh my this doesn't sound pleasant. Quite uneasy and painful mood. You wrote it well though one line seems to be off: on a string breaks the flow and structure in comparison to the other stanzas with only 4 lines.
Other than that, I hope you don't have to struggle that much anymore and feel better. We all do have hard times, me too, but I decided to give in to the sunshine and nice weather and be a tad happier...

[hcarson]

I have no sunshine and my luggage has gone on holiday without me..not good...although this was wrote a while back and is in reference to some medical issues rather than outside issues..i will have a coffee, a f*g and all will be right with the world again..for now lol ;)

[V]

I'm sure it'll be alright. :)

[hcarson]

Oh yes, things always get sorted in the end...i just have no patience haha..must get some self decipline ;)

[V]

Ok good luck :)

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

It is strange that the greatest power to ever be used against mankind is the fear of death ... We fear it, because we have never experienced it before for ourselves, but often we have experienced witnessing death take others, and we never like what we see ... Yet, somehow, life with all it chooses to dish out to us in emotional hurts, physical pains, disease, aging, etc., has a way of preparing and calming us to accept the inevitable, the unavoidable, and the ultimate end of all humanity ... I have come to accept this reality of life the way life is in life being that process that always leads to death ... As Mark Farner of Grand Funk Railroad (my all time favorite 70's rock band) said in his song and album titled by the same name: Born To Die ... Whatever the intended message or interpretation of this piece your heart has penned, this is the message I receive, a message that says you, yourself, are preparing for that inevitable eventuality as we all must ... In the meantime we sit and gaze at the landscape, or cars passing by, even at the stars and moon, and remember those good days when life did seem oh so much better ... It is my hope, whatever may or may not be going on in your life, that you are able to stick around another 20 or 30 years to sit and enjoy those memories of better times, and delve into the trashy writing of wanna be authors like me ... I enjoyed your heart penned to page, though the words disturbed me ... Now that's a funny statement from a man who writes the disturbing crap that I write huh? ...

[hcarson]

now that is a funny statement lol..mind you i also hope i have 20/30 years..i'm only 36 so 30 do me nicely :) this one was kind of just how i have felt recently, i have had a few issues and you know when you have one of them feel sorry for yourselves moments where everything seems crap..well i was having one of them days lol. i thank you so muchfor reading and reviewing, really appreciated :)

[Insight "MH"]

You surely gave a clever description of stress, well-done hcarson.

[hcarson]

Thank you insight, thanks for reading much appreciated

[Insight "MH"]

You are welcome :)

[Autonomous]

At least the narrator has unyielding rhythm his/her struggle, so that's nice. Great poem.

[hcarson]

thamks zwed, glad you liked , your comments always appreciated :)

[TheBlasphemousOptimist]

It's like that moment right before you fall asleep when you just give in to the exhaustion. I like it, it seems familiar.

[hcarson]

yea, it kind of does get to that point, thanks for your comments much appreciated :)

[Jacob Clifford]

Very intense topic. This is an interesting write.

[hcarson]

thanks for reading clifford and reviewing, very much appreciated :)