Recess of your mind

making our own history with what we choose to be at the forefront of our minds

RECESS OF YOUR MIND

The past is the past,

 never made to last.

Just snippets can 

come with us,

so choose these 

pieces wisely.

Do we bring the bad 

times, the hard times-

the turmoil and torture,or 

relegate it to a dusty shelf

at the back of your mind,

where you never wander?

Leave it to get coated in 

new memories past, lost,

under a weighty tonne of

history-make it's existance 

a total mystery.

Well then, lets bring the good

 times, placed at the  forefront 

of your mind, on a clean, fresh 

space thats's easy to find, for

whenever you go wandering

through the recess of your mind.

For that is our history. What is in our 

heads, the things we've seen, 

stuff we've heard said.

Just take what you need, and 

put the rest to bed. Begin to 

build your history in the 

mystery of your head.

Author's Note

all commemnts and criticisms welcome :)

Reviews

[Robert Parlange]

I like the metaphor of memories being placed on shelves. Good insight on how we perceive the world.
We should always bring the good memories up front to where we can see them. Unfortunately, with my housekeeping skills, everything is covered in dust.

[hcarson]

aha same as with me, hence this little piece to try to remind me of the order i should be keeping them in : thank you for reading and commenting, very much appreciated :)

[L u n a]

This one is definitely my favorite,
I loveeeee this.
Beautiful and I adore every word in it!

[hcarson]

wow, thank you so much luna!!! i'm really glad you like it, this was a bit of a different style for me that i was playing with, thank you so much for your lovely review, i really appreciate it ;)

[L u n a]

no problem! it was a very good poem :O

[Jacob Clifford]

This has a daydream-like quality to it. Quite a romantic take on the life we live daily.

[hcarson]

i guess it is..far too many of us..me included at times..sit dwelling on the bad thats gone on rather than all the good, easily done i suppose. thanks for your words, very much appreciated :)

[Anindita Janhabee]

Wow, its really a great job...
The first line 'The past is past', is awesome which attracts the reader to enter into the poem..
well, it is true that past always haunts for its repetition, which takes away the whole mind into distress. It had happened with me too - I was so depressed for a past that I forgot to have my lunch, forgot to complete my homework and many more dis-activities... Those were really weird, as I was unable to make my mind stable... Still now, sometimes it happens with me.
Your poem has got so many things to learn and to be inspired, loved it...
Thanks for sharing dear...

[hcarson]

Thank you for such a lovely review, im glad you liked it. 'Mind issues' as i think of them, are hard aren't they..think you have escaped then another pops up...its like having kids...got to have eyes everywhere to watch out for them trying to get you haha

[Anindita Janhabee]

well said miss, hahahahaha!!!!

[Shannon]

First off it is lovely sentiment and a rather powerful message. But the presentation is somewhat whimsical and brings to mind a fantastic old book store. I love the subtle play between the two!

[hcarson]

Thank you, your comments much appreciated :)

[Inject Positivity]

I truly witness the development of your writing and thought process... the whole made with excellent message and kind of very well presented...

The first stanza of the poem took my mind...
"The past is the past
never made to last.
Just snippets can
come with us
so choose these
pieces wisely. " a very good message, very true, past is the past and it made to last but we can wisely choose some pieces of it to make our future better...

"Do we bring the bad
times, the hard times-
the turmoil and torture, or
relegate to a dusty shelf
at the back of your mind,
where you never wander? " i mean wow, these are amazing lines dear H... very nice question for the reader... i think in the first line if you change the 'we' to 'you' that will sound better....

"Leave it to get coated
in new memories past, lost,
under a weighty tonne of
history-make it's existence
a total mystery." wow!! very very good advices... im loving this poem...

"Well then, let's bring the good
times, placed at the forefront
of your mind, on a clean, fresh
space thats's easy to find , for
whenever you go wandering
through the recess of your mind".... brilliant.... i think there is a spelling error... Thats's should be that's....

"For that is our history. what is in our
heads, the things we've seen
stuff we've heard said."

"Just take what you need, and
put the rest to bed. begin to
build your history in the
mystery of your head"....

what a brilliant piece of poetry.... hats off to you mate.... full ratings.... no wonder this is your best piece of writing.....

[hcarson]

thank you Dhimen :) i'm glad you like it..i wanted to do something different, take myself out of my comfort zone...was a bit scary but i enjoyed it and appreciate your lovely words :)..and you're right..'you' would have been better so i will change that..not sure why i have 'we' when the other bits are 'you' and 'your' anyway haha :)

[Inject Positivity]

you have done a fabulous job.... i love reading your works so it was another pleasurable and learning experience for me... there is a mistake in the 4 stanza where you wrote thats's instead of that's....

[hcarson]

oh yea haha...getting carried away with my 's's' ...naughty fingers..will remove in a jiffy :) thanks IP :)

[Inject Positivity]

haha.... i understand.... don't thank dear frnd... i love helping you anyway i can as it makes me happy...

[V]

Good one. I really like "for whenever you go wandering through the recess of your mind". This could well be a last line, also, because it sounds so nice. I think, I read a certain kind of development in your poem regarding your writing improvement. Many nice lines in here. It already reads like free verse, maybe it could use a slightly different visible structuring such as dividing the stanzas in a more plausible way. Another hint: Words like can and that often read too blunt and readers sort of trip over them, when the rest reads smooth and well. I'd change them, leave them out maybe. Other than that, I think this is my fav of your writings. :)

[V]

And I think you have overused the words history and mystery. If it was intentional you need to make that clearer (mainly by structuring). Really, I love this piece, it's so full of good lines and thoughts, therefore I feel the urge to make changes on it to transform it to sth even greater.

[hcarson]

thank you your comments much appreciated :) yea i agree what you say about the changes being made, i read it back and knew something was not reading too right but wasn't sure how to fix it haha, i m slowely cutting down on the unneeded words, such as the one you mentioned 'can' but the odd sneaky ones stil like to get in there every now and then but that is a present work in progress. i'm trying to adapt to ones on the site i like, in terms of style, picking up various sorts..what i need to do i think is not forget and mix them..i need to reaadily recognise the differences and recognise when i need to seperate then. thank you so much for your comments :)

[V]

You're welcome. Picking up the style of other writings is normal and inevitable, it's even what I like to do (on purpose) at times. Yours could def be a really good one.

[hcarson]

aww thank you , i hope so at some point,,can't imagine it right now though haha, still so long as there is some sign of improvement that is the main thing..just hope i can keep it there, more often than not anyway at least :)

[V]

My fingers itch to change your poem because I see so much potential in it. But it's on you, it's yours.

[hcarson]

tell me exactly what you would change and i will write it down in that manner and see what i think :)

[V]

Ok I'm going to send you a message.