TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES...

TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES...

A Poem by hcarson
"

just a quick off the top of the head one that may not make sense lol

"
TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES...

Take a walk in my shoes,
you may not last that long.
To walk where I've been
you have to be strong.

The things I've seen..
the stuff I've heard..
some happened so 
quickly, even now
 it's all blurred..

Some though, are clear as day.
These took place where our 
nightmares play.
Stabbing at our senses,
playing with our brains.
Making sure to do their best
so that we never sleep again.

Violence, obsession, cruelty and greed.
draining us of essentials that we
both desire and need.
Filling us with lies and deceit they deceive.

Things to leave you spinning,
to send you tumbling from your seat.
 So here, by all means, judge me.
But first...slip in your feet...

© 2016 hcarson


Author's Note

hcarson
i'm a little foot obsessed recently....all comments/criticisms welcome..

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Featured Review

Great poem. The rhyming is impressive and makes your poem more pleasing to read. The second last stanza moved me a lot. You talk of how things like greed, cruelty, violence and obsession make a man sick and drains him of all essentials that he desires and needs.
Well-written and keep writing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for reading and your lovely comments much aporeciated



Reviews

Been a while since I dropped by to read your writes and looks like I might be dropping by more often now ^^ I love the feel you have given to the poem. A subject everybody can relate to. Very nicely portrayed, your choice of words in particular invoke a lot of imagery when reading. ^^ It's awesome ^^ And I think doing it free verse suits you a lot better. Let the occasion rhyme happen but i believe you can explore a lot more in the free verse style. A good write ^^ Thank you for sharing ^^

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

8 Years Ago

for reading and your lovely review, im trying to improve but it very much depends on the subject for.. read more
Érenn

8 Years Ago

I know it's the same for me, everyday I end up learning something new ^^
I liked this poem. Old wisdom brought back to life.
"Things to leave you spinning,
to send you tumbling from your seat.
So here, by all means, judge me.
But first...slip in your feet..."
The above lines. I heard often said by my Grandfather. I tell people.Never rate another life. Never know what he had to do to survive. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

8 Years Ago

thank you coyote for your lovely words, i don't beieve we should judge one another either,as yoou sa.. read more
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V
The title as well as the first lines remind me of Everlast's song What it's like. Sort of old song but still conveying a great message such as your poem does, too. It could use a smoother frame such as rhyme scheme but that's only critique in technical terms. Other than that, I really like what's on your mind.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hcarson

8 Years Ago

thanks..been one of them days today haha...i agree..it kinda is all over the place..i will go back a.. read more
V

8 Years Ago

You're welcome.

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816 Views
13 Reviews
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Added on March 11, 2016
Last Updated on March 11, 2016

Author

hcarson
hcarson

cardiff, barry, United Kingdom



About
I have an interest in writing short stories and poetry in some shape or form apparently since coming here! Being a mother of five means I have no end of inspiration! I'm an animal lover and have an Am.. more..

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