A WISH COME TRUE ....

STUCK IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP SOPHIE TRIES TO ESCAPE IT BUT HELP WAS HARD TO COME BY

A WISH COME TRUE

Sat at the kitchen table Sofie begins to seal the envelope she had been writing on when Ross, her partner of just a few 

months, came strutting in. Tall, dark haired and heavily built he had a slight resemblence to the footballer, turned actor, Vinnie Jones. Sofie's automatic smile faltered at his dark expression. Hate filled his eye's as he looked down at her, sat on the kitchen chair. Her trusting brown eyes searched his, confused. She never saw the slap coming but she felt it. It had connected hard with her right ear causing a suctioning effect, both stinging and giving the ear a heavy, blocked feeling that lasted  for a few days; when the next slap inadvertantly helped unblock it.  She never uttered a sound, just looked in shock confusion as he smirked and walked away.

                                                                         **********************************************

" Get out the f*****g car you silly b***h." Eddie grabbed Crystal roughly by the hair, dragging her from the driving seat of the dark blue Cortina and onto the wet pavement. Curled in the back seat sofie, Chrissy and Michael looked on helplessly. They knew what would unfold...had seen it often enough already in their short lives. Breath steaming up the windows, they watched with heavy hearts as their father beat their mother out on the street for some imagined slight, no more than two foot from them.

                                                                       ***********************************************

Seven year's later found Sofie still with Ross. For a long time she hadn't even realised that what she was experiencing was domestic abuse. She had thought this was just how relationships worked. After all, hadn't her Father beat her Mother before he went to prison? The imprisonable offence had been theft, therefore, it must be illegal to steal but not illegal to beat your partner.Sofie had lived by this theory, allowing Ross to kick, punch and drag her by her hair, bite, slap and ridicule; never considering he may be wrong for doing it. She simply covered the marks and got on with things-that's what all women did right? She would be hurt but she knew this is what a relationship was; man got drunk, man got angry, woman helps him release the tension. Painful but not the only painful aspect of being a woman. Look at childbirth she had then thought.

It had been about two years into the relationship while sat in the probation office, waiting for Ross that she began to see things differently and getting angry. Very angry.

The wait was boring so being a prolific reader Sofie had began reading all the yellow and curled posters,semi tacked to the grubby walls. Shifting her eyes around, deciding which to pass the time reading next, one stood out and her blood ran cold, holding her, fixated, breath coming in short gasps as she read then reread the words on the faded piece of tatty paper. The image of a battered woman cowered on the floor. A man had her hair, twisted in his fist as he leaned over her, face contorted in pure hatred, red faced, spittle collecting in the corners of thin, taut lips. A bold heading shouted 'Domestic Abuse; Don't suffer in silence.' It went on to give a list of things that constituted domestic abuse such as violence, threats of violence, being kept away from family, friends etc...the list went on and as Sofie read through it she mentally ticked all those that applied to her-everyone had a tick next to it in her mind...flashing and screaming at her. Her blood boiled with anger not just at him for his abuse, but at herself for not even recognising it as such.

She couldn't stop staring at the poster, trappped by the so familier scene, caught forever by the actors in front of her but the situation where she was concerned was all too real.

For years after, that poster stayed in her mind, a flashing beacon of wrongness and unfairness, frustration and anger. Even more so when she told him that what he was doing was wrong and illegal, and he just laughed his arrogent laugh, a laugh she had never noticed he had on first meeting him, or maybe she had just not recognised it for what it was. Smirking at her, eyes lighting up, thoroughly enjoying her look of astonished anger at his reaction.

She tried fighting back. She rang the police, she reached out to what she thought were the right people, you know, the ones that bragged at that time all over the telly about them being there to help abused women but it was all false. So little help was given it just exascerbated the problem, making him angry and therefore, more violent so in the end she stopped. She then tried kicking him out. This too was a disaster. He just let himself back in by either key or foot. On one occassion she had woken to a knife at her throat. she quit kicking him out at this point and instead just began to wish he would die. It had become more and more clear this was the only way it would end, in one of their deaths and at this rate, with being strangled, hit with bats and unknown drug overdose attempts in her coffee ( the violence took this shape when she had got physical back) it seemed clear to sofie the death would more than likely be hers. But she had children now so she wished more than ever that it would be him to die before he finally managed it on her.

For many years his favoourite trick was to wait until she fell asleep and then punch her in the side of the head. She had got into the habit, despite her claustrophobia, of sleeping with the quilt around her head, trying to protect her ears as it hurt so much getting caught there. It was from this cocooned position she did most of her most fervent wishing until she eventually fell into a fitful sleep each night for the next eighteen months.

It was a cold December day. Heating on, coffee steaming on the table, Sofie was enjoying some peace. Ross had gone out for an hour. Sofie loved these times when it was just her and the kids. No tension in the home, Just a relaxed ease, except the fearful undercurrent running beneath the surface, all dreading his return but non wanting to voice it and ruin the short bit of respite they had.

Many hours later Ross still hadn't returned. This wasn't unusual. Many nights, if he found some unsuspecting or uncaring female willing to put up with him he wouldn't bother to return home. Those were the nights Sofie loved best, although she still slept with the blanket pulled tight around her ears.

At half past eleven a car pulled up outside. Sofies immediate thought, from out of nowhere, was 'that's the police to tell me he's dead'. There was absolutely no reason she should have thought this but her gut told her she was right. Opening the door she found a policewomen in uniform and one without. Turns out she was a family liasion officer. Unbeknown on how she got there sofie found herself sat on the chair in the livingroom, tears sliding down her cheeks, unnoticed. She was shocked. Not that he was actually dead but that that she had, without doubt already known it the second she heard the car. She cried not because she was sad but because she felt guilt. Guilt that she had, quite literally, wished him to death.It turned out that he had stumbled into the road drunk. Firstly he was hit by a car that then secondly flung him in front of a bus. Sofie found it quite ironic that both drivers were female. She vowed she would let them know how vile and violent he was towards women lest their conscience be bothering them, until then though, she just looked forward to burying the b*****d.

Author's Note

based on true story, some bits changed and a lot left out but true non the less

Reviews

[Jeremiah Gerstner]

It seems all too easy for women to find themselves in this situation with no recourse and no power, even to be honest with themselves. I am sorry that Sofie went through everything that she did. I've never experienced anything like this myself, so it's difficult to understand why Sofie doesn't try to escape her situation. I actually do get it, but I think you have an opportunity to give the reader a window into that world. Take us a bit deeper into Sofie's brain. As a reader, I want to know why she doesn't leave after the first time it happens. I want to know how so many years of abuse can happen without anyone interfering, what is the world around her like? She assumes that this is what "all women" deal with, who are the women she knows in order to draw this conclusion? How often does she struggle with herself over what to do, and what does that internal dialogue sound like?

As you can see, I was left with many questions. I think that's a good sign, as your story made me think. I had a hard time identifying with Sofie's struggle, but I think if you can find a way to share her thoughts and motivations (dreams even, if she still has any after all this) then this will become a truly effective narrative. Two other quick opinions. First, I felt like the lapses in time were a bit arbitrary. What if you use or reference the same situation/thought/turn of phrase in each section, with small differences to give the impression of change over time? Second, I hated Ross from the start, so her guilt over his death distanced me further from Sofie. I think you would need to include some "good times" together for me to even begin to understand why she's not dancing in the streets, even if she feels that his death was her fault.

I know I threw a lot at you just now, please don't take it to mean that I hated your writing. I only see opportunity here, and I really do want to know more about what is going on in Sophie's mind. If you do a re-write, I wanna read it!

[hcarson]

hi i appreciate you asking questions..better than getting half way through and turning it off :). well the reason there are so manygaps ,if you like, is this is a true story and being the first time to write it like this was hard, theraputic but difficult on how to express it. (he never got killed by a bus though, died as i always said he would, a lonely s**t in a prison cell..no decernable reason from coroners report..weird)..anyway..growing up i witnessed all sorts of violence..seemed totally normal. so it is true when the first hit come (i was only 18) i didn't understand or see it for what it was..in a very quick time, these kinds of men/women take vulnerable people and have a way of making them believe all things are their fault. it takes a long time to escape that..even now. many attempts were made to escape it but with no money you cant get far, entered refuges but he knew where they all where. you get beaten down mentally, physically and emotionally. hence the deep sedire for him to die so when he did..i was glad but as i have a huge conscience somehow believed it to be my fault..baring in mind we had a child also which made it harder. There truely was no good times, he was evil, manipulative, controlling and at first, i was misled, deluded then confused as how to get out. i no doubt will do a re-write when it is more organised in my head. this came to an end 12 years ago and im still suffering anxiety and panic attacks from it. i hope this is a way of finally getting to understand it and write it out my system if that makes sense...hope that answers some of your questions, if not ask away :)...thanks for reading and pointing out some great points :)

[Sangeetha]

This totally answers all the questions I had which many were the same as mr Jeremiah's, but right of the bat I could understand why she didn't do anything about it at first cos she didn't know it was abuse but I have a clearer idea as to why she didn't run away when she had all the open doors to do it ...it was because of money and that is a justifiable reason enough..because it's only so Long till you run out on savings and that also depends on the kind of job she has...children are also a reason why she was tied down to the house, the last thing a woman would want is to put her children into a life of running and discomfort because of her suffering, be it to the extreme like abuse or otherwise..its just an aspect of us it can't be helped it's almost as if women are programmed to sacrifice themselves for the sake of others especially their children.

[hcarson]

you are right sangeetha, how ever i did go to refuge's where it is ment to be safe for women but he knew where they all were...turns out i wasn't the first..just another in a long line of his that he had abused. it is never easy to escape unless you have enough money to up and go and start over but most of us don't and that is just another aspect these abusers rely on, our vulnerability, however..he definitely lost in the end ;)

[Sangeetha]

hooray!im so glad that guy is out of your life. but im still happy that you still tried to go somewhere despite the fact you couldn't get another place so quickly...i mean who could? even if one had the money there would have to be processing needed to be done on getting the place and what not. But you were brave enough to at least try to save your life while some women would have been too afraid to move.

[hcarson]

yes, he was relying on me backing down and being too scared to fight back or anything like that but like i said to him, after awhile the hitting stops hurting and it either breaks some people or makes others angry,,im the type to get angry and want revenge haha..plotting crazy ways to bump someone off and that but not ever doing it of course..especially as i didnt need to in the end, he did it himself ;)

[Sangeetha]

I know right and let me just say we are very alike in the fact if wanting to take revenge but never coming around to do doing it...and irony that he ended himself classic karma haha

[hcarson]

haha too true ;)

[Sangeetha]

I think his tragic ending could make a good story don't you think?

[hcarson]

ah yes now me and Dhimen have been talking about that, i think i'm going to add a chapter of 'what happened after'...i could add a bit of explanation to questions that have been asked from the initialal chapter

[Workvio]

Sadly, we live in a world where of many abuses, yet none quite so tragic as those of abuse to women and children ... There is very little more humiliating than to be abused in front of others as an audience, and there is very little more painful to a child than to watch their mother being beaten and verbally abused ... Except, of course, if that abuse should find its way to them, and usually it does sooner or later ... A man who treats a woman this way is nothing more than a cowardly bully, no matter how big or tough he may seem on the exterior ... Your heart has penned to page a very poignant of the realities of a cruel world full of cruel men who need killing, though I do not advocate murder ... Karma is a wheel, and it will often seek the wicked out in unexpectedly running them over ... As per your most appropriate ending ... The most powerful aspect of this story is the reality of its truth as real life events ... A powerful write that sends a message to any woman or person who is enduring such needless affliction ...

[hcarson]

thank you marvin, you are correct in what you say, especially about the children.although one thing he didn't die by being run over..although he did get run over shortly before his death but he actually died in a police cell..coroner could find no particular reason why he did though so i thought i would give a few women the pleasure of running him over instead, the rest is true but i did alter that bit and of course left much out which is why it is a tad jumpy etc, thank you so much for reading and your opinions..i totally agree with every one of them :)

[Shannon]

Its hard to know what to say to something such as this. I think some of the gaps that were mentioned below make a lot of sense. People who find themselves in a violent relationship often have not real idea how they ended up there. And as the brain gets more and more into survival mode, it gets harder to truly think and process. In other words, the gaps and time lapses are part of the story, not a short coming of it!

Also, think highlighting the shortfalls in the support offered is important. I believe most people think: you just go get help, leave and never see the person again.

I am very glad that you are safe.

[hcarson]

yes it was a horrid time but i learnt a lot from it and thats what is important i suppose :) all turned out well in the end ;)..had it not i would have called in your prime minister haha!!

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

And so another story filling truth. Yes! The damn b*****d died. I usually stay away from readings like these because I get too attached to the character and just want to take action. But this was a good story. I'm glad that the ending turned out how it did in real life hopefully. So yes, good job dear

[hcarson]

yes he died but he never got hit by a bus..i kind of altered that detail as it had a more satisfying feel to it haha, thank you for reading, your comments are always most appreciated :)

[Sangeetha]

I hated how this lady had to go through so much pain but what I did love is how you expressed the struggles of being born a woman, even if a woman is not abused in her lifetime we would never be free of the fear of being physically threatened be it being raped or even domestically abused. We always need to watch over our shoulder we can't travel safely at night..it always seems like we have to hide in the shadows and that we can't fight back no matter how hard we try because we are not physically strong enough..I loved this story because you expressed what it's like to be a woman so perfectly that I was like yes that is exactly how I feel...truly something to be reckoned with..people need to know what is going out there despite the " equal rights" illusion that we are all under.

[Sangeetha]

Abuse is not a pretty thing right when you think you can fight back you end up. Being the one still down on the ground although I always had this idea in my head that if I were ever abused in arelationship I'd hit the guy back with everything I got and just leave him behind..but now it's seems it's not as easy as I thought.

[hcarson]

unfortunatly it isn't so easy..thats why it is always best to be sure of the person before ending up in this position as nothing is ever as easy as it seems in your mind

[Sangeetha]

Exactly very true

[Sangeetha]

But ms H didn't you know this before you married him? I mean if you got till the marriage was he just holding out on you until you got married ?

[hcarson]

we never got married..that isn't such a big thing in our culture, a lot of people just live together

[Sangeetha]

Oooh you were in that moving in together stage phew...I thought you guys got married..and I know I'm probably not in the place to say this but...did he really did?

[hcarson]

we lived together 7 years..what do you mean did he really?..did he really do these things? yes..these were the small bits, i took out the worst bits which is hy this story sort of falters and jumps etc, you name an abuse and that man/creature did it. i see it now as a very good learning experience in my life..it certainly taught me a lot now..even if not at the time

[Sangeetha]

I meant to say did he really die but what!! 7 years? You sure have a lot will power ...oh my god..ms Helen this is horrible I mean no one should have to go through what you did and if I had a Super power to erase all that I would but.. I feel like you having to go through this phase was something that's going to allow you to do something bigger with that experience and help you in a situation where you would have to apply what you learned so it would be wrong to take away scars cos they tell you what not to do in the future haha and it could save someone else too.

[hcarson]

your very right, i learnt a lot from my experiences an yes he did really die although not in the manner descibed here, he was found unwell slumped in street, an ambulance was called but when they were getting him in there they saw he had a knife in his back pockey/down back of trosers something like that, i forget now, so police were called and he was put in cells instead where he callapsed and died not long after. coroner could find no desceernible reason for death so quite strange..still justice as far as im concerned :)

[Sangeetha]

Yes quite a painful death to sentence cruel

[DrAnuradha Bele]

I am really sorry for Sofie. I understand what she must have gone through, though I have only heard about all this. I understand how and why women feel trapped in abusive relationships. But I was also hoping that Ross would die! This story has a lot of potential. Do add more to Sofie's character, her background; Ross, her kids. What do they go through? How does their day to day life unfold? What I am curious about is how Sofie's kids will react - if she has daughters, will they also accept this violence as normal because they have seen their mother go through it, as Sofie accepted it because of her past or will they rebel? Will Sofie teach them, discuss with them why she did not leave earlier? There are a lot of questions that Sofie needs to introspect and find answers to. Needless to say, it's thought provoking.

[hcarson]

yes, there will be more to this at some point. it is based on true story so tring to keep it real without going into too much detail was awkward if that makes sense. he actually died in a cell rather than hit by bus but it didnt have quite the satisfaction of the two way chuck about..eek..i may have issues lol but there will be a more in depth story when it is more organised in my head.thank you so much for reading and your review of which questions i will certainly work on :)

[Inject Positivity]

i can't believe how sofie went through such enormous domestic violence....hats off to her courage and will first of all... the way the relationship went on for so long is hard to take.... this was violence at its worst level... and as it was a true life story it gives more tragic feeling to the reader... but i respect Sophie for her courage to went on with life... this story was alive all the way... the ending was interesting and i guess this is what made the title of the story... great to see the two drivers were female and gave a twist in the tale... thank you for sharing this Helen.... full ratings....

[Inject Positivity]

by the way there are some printing mistakes(spelling), im sure when you will give it a read you will find them...

[hcarson]

hi thank you fo you lovely review IP weirdly as i was writing i was trying to check for errors along the way but a*s i was trying to correct them it was deleting the nexr word as well so i gave in haha, i will go back and attempt it again though..if i recognose them of course and think that is how it is spelt, i go through phases where i can't spell the simplest of words at times..weird haha thank you again IP :)

[Inject Positivity]

by the way are you going to add anything to it?

[hcarson]

yes..i think i will ..if there is anybody that is interested in reading it..not sure what angle i would take though..maybe more in depth version or what happened after ...i don't know..what do you think?

[Inject Positivity]

sorry for the reply.....well yes im eager to know what happens next... you should continue it... i think it has already grabbed enough attention of the readers so it will be great to see new parts... im excited and curious about it....

[hcarson]

i will do it then as a what happened next...wasn't alot in one way biut it was on a personal level in terms of learning to understand and come to terms with things so i suppose i could try and dig out the more interesting aspects of that :)

[Inject Positivity]

i really believe that it could encourage others who are facing the similar kind of challenge in their life to show their courage and pull them out before anything bad happens... it can really help them open their eyes and understand.....

[hcarson]

well yes.. i suppose if it is looked at from that angle it could do because you never know who it is happening to..but then and i know this sounds awful but not everyone is lucky like me in that their abuser unexpectedly drops dead without the abused actually casusing it to happen haha if you get me. in that sense it was easier for me to get away whereas if the person is still alive it is a lot harder but yes i see what you mean . not a bad idea, thanks Dhimen :) your a star :)

[Inject Positivity]

i get your point... i know your case was rare but i do believe that your experience in it can really help them to get away from that relationship before that incident could ever happen... what i have learned in your writings so far is that they have an unique way to reach to the readers mind and definitely makes the reader think about it deeply... i don't want to say anything about your writing style or how crafted you are but to me your writings have real meaning... and the growth you are making everyday is just lovely and happy thing to see.... you are a star too....

[hcarson]

aww thank you Dhimen, you are so lovely with your words and how you put them, you make a person feel far better than they should haha but yes i think i will give it a go, you never know do you, even if it is only one person it makes think about their position either now or in the future then it was worth doing :) thank you for always giving great advice and ideas :)

[Inject Positivity]

well i truly believe that if your struggle and experience can help just one person's life little better or save that person from something tragic then at the end of the day you can feel inside of yourself that at least my experience of pain and struggle was able to help someone to ease their pain... and i know you are that kind of a person, i know i met just a week ago but i already know who you are inside.... i am always here for you....

[hcarson]

thank you iP, you are so very kind, your words always appreciated :)