Chapter One: Feelings

     "Hey! Kathy! Come Here!" Dawn yelled across the parking lot. "What do you want?" Kathy said while coming over. "My mom is going out of town and is letting me have a party!" Dawn squealed. All Kathy could do was stare in amazment. "O....M....G!!!!" Kathy said after a minute of silence. "Seriously, no parentals around just you and a party, with boys?" "Da! I wouldn't throw a party with my mom around. I mean when my dad left my mom wanted me to throw a party so I would get over the fact that my dad left without saying good-bye, but I wouldn't cause she would have to supervise it." Dawn explained.

The next day Dawn came to school with invites and past them out during study hall. She past them out to the girls first then the guys. When she had them all past out she decided that she wasn't ready to go back to class, so she went outside to her car to get her mp3, so when she did go back she wouldn't be to bored. When she got to her car she had a very bad feeling that somone was watching her, but she just thought it was the janitor. She was wrong to have underestimated the danger she was in, but luckily she made it back inside without anything happening to her.

When she got back to class she took her seat, and didn't think about the feeling she had. Study Hall was her favorite class, cause she naever had to do any work, just pretend.

After study hall she went straight to english, her worst subject. She knew she was failing and today she would have proof, because they were getting their report cards today. When Dawn got to her seat she had a feeling that something was wrong, but she couldn't place what it was.

After school was over, Kathy asked if she could come over so she wouldn't have to go swimsuit shopping with her mom, and of course Dawn was happy to have Kathy over.

When they got to her house they didn't she Dawn's mom so they just thought that she was out shopping. They did their homework wich they thought took for ever. Then they just watched tv, waiting for Dawn's mom to get home so they could ask if Kathy could stay the night with her.

Five hours later her mom came home and said yes. Kathy was the same size in clothes and shoes so that wasn't a problem, plus she had her own toothbrush and tooth paste as well. Her mom usally doesn't let Kathy stay on week nights, but once she heard why she wanted to stay she said yes. They stayed up all night, and the whole time, Dawn had a feeling somone was watching them, and it weirded her out.

Reviews

[Ryan]

Well. It's good. But you're kind of over using the foreshadowing. There are some grammar/spelling mistakes, but not anymore than a typical first draft I guess. You seem a little redundant and informal throughout the whole thing, but otherwise, good job. Curious as to what happens next, and the plot line. Keep writing :)

[...MysteryGirl...]

Some errors and mistakes..
But overall great story line..
Can't wait untill the next chapter.

[ShaneBerry]

i like it but its alittle confusing