03/06/2016

Wander and wander and wander and
Search through the fire and the flames and
Break through the prejudices of your life.

Stay or leave or wander or search,
meandering madness,
paths and perils,
leading you always.

Always to one place,
Always to here.

Ah, Here,
The place in which, 
one,
so torn and broken,
Flourishes.

Open and blossom and flourish,
like a flower, like a storm, like the flames,
The flames growing higher and higher and higher and...

BREATH

Author's Note

I am brand new to writing poetry so I want all the advice I can get please.

Reviews

[William Liston]

I liked this poem, but I'll be honest, I didn't understand it at all. I felt this poem more than I actually understood it, which is not a totally bad thing. Good poetry (like this) can be felt even if it's not understood.

In the author's note, you said that you want all the advice you can get, so allow me to help you. As a starting poet, you seem to have a lot of potential. Your vocabulary is good, and you have considerable skill in making line breaks and punctuation. Based on this poem, your main problem is clarity. You use many short phrases in this poem, which is good when you want the poem to have a quick, scattered feel but not when the reader doesn't understand. Focus on adding more context to your poems. Also, in a poem like this, make sure the title gives a clue to what the poet (you) is talking about.

If you ever need advice on your writing, I'll gladly help. Based on this poem, you'll be a skilled poet in no time (you kinda seem like one already). SInce you're a first-time poet, let me ask you, what made you start writing poems? It seems like someone inspired you.

-William Liston

[Harrison]

Hi William.
Thanks for taking your time to read my poem!
I write poetry everyday and started just 3 days ago. I decided to do it as a means to relax.

When I write, I tend not to consider what I'm writing and mere write the first things that come into my head so I can understand how the poems may seem slightly confusing to a reader that isn't me.

In terms of the title, it simply refers to the date that I wrote the poem.

For me this poem is quite reflective of the current exams I'm going through. How in the testing times we all actually shine and impress ourselves. And also how stress levels rise and rise and then finally everything is over for another year.

[William Liston]

I can see the poem's message now that you have told me what it's about. Just keep writing, and remember that poetry must appeal to the reader. Thanks for sharing your work. I look forward to reading more of your works.