There lies a simply little flower holding on to all the power of time.
At the center of the ocean of the color-spotted roses where the day bids the
moon goodnight
There lies a simple little flower,
its vine twisted ‘round the bower
holding on to all the power of time
On the cusp of the dusk
When the sun bleeds one last drop
Little flower begs the night
Into ravenous flight
Just for a while, until the sun may rise again
All the seconds, minutes, hours
Yield to little flower’s power
hear the clock tick in tune with its heart
And the coffin singers whisper dirges to the roses that wilt and tumble to
their tombs to the candles that melt down to make
their graves
But that simple little flower with vines twisted ‘round
the bower is as young as when its
seed burrowed into the ground
Another piece for my creative writing class. I'm also considering putting this one into my portfolio, so if you guys have any crit I would love to hear them before I submit it. :)
Oh, and the picture I used for this one is one of my own pieces.
My Review
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How on earth hasn't this got more reviews yet? This is sublime! It is probably a cliche to say that this poem speaks to me on many levels, but it is true. To me, the poem symbolizes hope. How belief in oneself can help one move seemingly immovable obstacles. It is inspirational, not just in message, but in structure as well. The free flowing rhythm and the delightful vocabulary are the petals that adorn this perfectly created flower of yours :)
This is the sort of poem that whispers at you from the inside, which each reading I appreciate it a bit more. It's just impressive and I'm glad you shared it.
This is absolutely wonderful! Reading this has inspired me to write something myself. Thank you very much. This poem has very nice flow. It isn't choppy. The sentences meet their full potential. You used a very wide vocabulary. It's imaginative yet to the point, but it still leaves room for the thinkers. I really like the concept of this poem, too. Overall, this is fannntastic. (:
Keep writing, please.
One of the best poems I have read in a very, very long time. I admire most about this poem its structure. It's a slight break from the ordinary poetry I see. I also appreciate your choice of words in this piece. The first stanza would have to be my favorite, and the entire poem read well, for the most part. I think your structure played a big part in determining how its read; I loved it.
Live. Love. Write.
I'm 20 years old. I've been writing since I was 4.
Writing is more than just a hobby. It's my passion, my drug, my therapy and my life.
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