Back to Life

There’s nothing left…

               

He’s lying lifeless on the floor

                It seems he’s finally lost the war
                He’s not willing to fight anymore
                Just lying lifeless on the floor

Nothing to live for…

               

Given up on everything

                All his dreams
                Just shredded seams
                Thrown all over broken things
                He’s given up on everything

Forgotten, forever more…

               

Fire burning in his veins

                Agony, never-ending pain
                Until his body just goes numb
                This fire burns deep in his veins

It’s over now, forever more…

               

A gentle knock on hollow door

                But he’s still lifeless on the floor
                His heart doesn’t wait to beat no more
                His hollow body on the floor
                But she keeps knocking at his door

Light so shrouded, far away…

               

With a shock he’s back to life

                Shoved back into all the strife
                But all he sees his broken dreams
                The threads of all the torn-up seams
                He goes home and tries again
                But irony was a never a friend
                He’s back to life, back to life

Baby, why don’t you just live again?

Author's Note

A little Nikki Sixx-inspired. ...Bear with me and my music-obsessed self. I've been a little Motley Crue/Sixx:A.M. mood. Comments and crit appreciated~<3

Reviews

[Morgan Sade]

I really love it. Nice cadence, there was a few sketchy rhymes, and trip ups if it's said aloud, and good visuals (If that makes any sense). Would be good read to music, but if I'm not insane then I think that was the intention. I'm not very good at cretiquing poetry, and I feel quite angry at myself for not having anything more than the generic "I love it," but that's really all I can think to say. The story of it is even good, I feel the urge to go write about him...

[A.Lee]

Once again, great work. I really like your use of this format (main poem/italics). My only thing is that in the middle, these two lines "Forgotten, forever more..." and "Its over now, forever more..." both end in 'forever more'. I would change one of them. But its just a suggestion, you can take it or leave it. Good work.

[Marlena]

I really like the format and how you did the last line. Pretty awesome, I like the story it tells :B Great work :3