If I Die Before You Wake

The worst is over, we can part in peace.

If I die before you wake
I pray a good look you will take
Over the life I lived with you
And all the time I’ve spent with you
And all the pictures that we snapped
In the summer that we wished would last
Forever, but the world just kept on turning
And you and I, we kept on learning
How to live and love and grow
We explored feelings we never thought we’d know
And as I am lowered into the ground
I pray, my love, that you wear no frown
I will summon the clouds and send down the rain
So that it can cry for you and you won’t feel the pain
 And you can move on to a new chapter of your life
With a little less heartache and a little less strife
The worst is over now, we can part in peace
I’ll be sitting on a star, waiting for the next time we meet.

Author's Note

...Yep. :3

Reviews

[Drakana Wind]

Awwwwwwww

[deeps]

This is sad but well written.

[Lauren Marie]

Ahh, this was so lovely and sad and the perfect picture of love. I hate giving non-constructive reviews, but this was simply beautiful!
~Lauren

[Twilight]

This seems to be sad yet romantic, in theme. Your flow and rhyme scheme are very good, although the last two lines do not rhyme with one another. There is no ambiguity in this poem, and each line has something worth sharing with the reader. Perhaps, this could also be interpreted as a testament to the power of love? Such is the strength of devotion, suggested by the protagonist, towards that special someone in her life.....

Of the other reviews, I certainly agree with what Alex has mentioned. The praise from other reviewers is also quite justified. Do any of you disagree, perhaps?

Thankyou, for sharing this with us, Howl. Keep writing, reading, sharing AND reviewing!

[Sincerely, Alex]

Very sad, but lovely. It flows very well, just like the prayer.
I adore the ending about sitting on a star. Very visual, and very pretty.

[Call Me Cash]

How very sad! I got the shivery spine bit while reading this! It is very well metered and flows beautifully! Very well written!

[Rowanna]

That was painfully sad.
I loved it. I liked the way you used the lines "I will summon the clouds and send down the rain
So that it can cry for you and you won't feel the pain" and the idea of sitting on a star waiting for them at the end.

[Signet]

This poem is really lovely...!! Really it touched me..!!

[Wingless Angel of Dream..]

I love this poem! it reminds me of the prayer "if i should die before i wake." n if u meant that, then this is a great take on it. if you didn't then... its a very amazing happy accident. i love the lines:
"I will summon the clouds and send down the rain
So that it can cry for you and you won't feel the pain"
too! because sometimes thats what u really want to do for someone, n i like the way u expressed that. this is an impeccably good expression of feeling. in a unique view. in my language i'll say: its totally amazing, just like always! Loved it! five thousand stars, NO JOKE!
~wingless angle of dreams

[Adeline]

I absolutely love this! it is so good I can hardly express how aweosme and moving it is. perfect. never stop writing!