Pink baby blues

Pink baby blues

I sit here with a tear,

getting rid of little tutus.

And little pink elephants,

replace them all with blue.

I feel like my baby died,

its silly right?

That hearing “it's a boy!”

Brought tears not delight.

We had to work so hard for you,

but now I cannot feel.

This disconnected feeling,

It's all to real.

No flowers no braids,

no lipstick on your face.

No matching outfits with mommy,

no mother daughter embrace.

The doctor told me,

“it's okay you feel this way.

Prenatal depression is the name.”

and it seems it's here to stay.

“Buy him clothes, talk to him,

decorate his room with lots of things!”

this is the advice given,

I do it but nothing works it seems.

People say I'm better,

they can really tell.

But do they see inside?

This torture feels like hell.

I'm a terrible mother already,

and he isn't even here.

I just can't shake this feeling,

there's no better next time dear.

I'm on the risky side you see,

we might have just the one.

But I feel as if I've already lost,

lost my daughter by getting a son.

Author's Note

Just my thoughts spilling out as i'm trying to cope.

Reviews

[Chris]

How we as parents fill our time awaiting with all the possibilities we dream of... We invest so MUCH of US in those dreamings and we DO settle into the patterns that best reflect our inner desires. We may not mean to but we do and its hard when we get told that those wishes won't be happening this time... You take care.

[The Twin Arenas]

Brave write. Feelings like these are very taboo, and are certainly more common than we imagine. This is one the reasons writing exists.

[Courtney Hough]

thanks so much for reading!