My Shoes

“See the world like me,
See it through my eyes.
See if you can stand it,
Every painful memory and lie.

You talk about me,
But you have no clue.
There’s so much more,
Then the ‘pretty’ and eyes of gray and blue.

Give me your hand,
And for yourself you can see.
Just what makes me tick,
And the pain that forged and haunts me."

I handed the judger a mirror,
“Once you start.
You cannot stop,
No matter how much it breaks your heart.”

The judger grabs the mirror,
With a smug face.
“a girl like you,
Your life is easy, you disgrace.”

And with that I stood back,
As the judger watched the glass.
And I watched the judger,
Examining my haunting past.

In the mirror,
You see him pin me down.
While removing some clothes,
When my innocence was found.

We heard my cries of pleas,
And saw my fight.
We saw pieces of Courtney,
Die that night.

The judgers head,
Tried to turn away.
But once you start,
You cannot look away.

The boy looks at me,
Taunting what was done.
My world was dark,
Said goodbye to the sun.

The mirror moves on,
As I am now alone.
Back to the locked door,
My wrongs I must atone.

I grab the knife,
slide it across my skin.
Blood rushes out,
adding to my sin.

I cry and slice everywhere,
And when my parents came home,
I re-apply my makeup.
till next time I’m alone.

Demons scream in my head,
And one night I want to do more.
I couldn’t take it!
Tried to welcome deaths door.

I held the knife,
The judger saw me cry!
“Please!” I screamed!
“let me die!”

I tried a few times,
But my plans were foiled.
Yet blood did run,
And my clothes were soiled.

I then took many pills,
To be numb at school.
People yelled, “s**t!” “w***e!”
My world then was to cruel.

Boys would use me,
And I would just allow.
That’s all I was good for right?
Pleasing the crowed.

The judger was crying,
“take this thing away!”
But the mirror played on.
Showing the hate I face every day.

The mirror showed the suicide,
The one I’m guilty for.
I never answered the phone,
And he hung from his door.

Sickness, constant pain, and deaths.
People leaving more and more.
My family and friends hate me,
But hate was endured like none before.

The judger fell to the ground,
But the mirror still played on.
Rumors, lies and stares,
That will never be gone.

The judger now sees herself,
As the mirror came to the end.
And all she did and said,
All the “concerns” that were pretend.

The judger sees the truth,
And story behind every scar.
“I didn’t know,
You’ve been trapped behind bars!”

The mirror finally stops,
The judger cannot stand.
But even so,
I offer my hand.

But she will not take it,
She is now to weak.
“I didn’t know!” she cried,
I replied, “Think before you speak.”

The judger’s heart stopped,
And she couldn’t wake.
She couldn’t stand it,
Her heart did break.

Yes I had to be strong,
I live through constant pain.
Yet the judger is now gone,
After seeing my life and learning her shame.

Every day I have to fight,
Daily with my demons wrath.
But if you lived my life,
You too would die on the path.

Reviews

[¿]

A wonderful knitting of words you did!
Twas waving brilliantly with each stanza....tis easy to say all things are in the mind...but Alas! What if they're in your shoes?! Would've understood the whole absurd pain...but in the hell maybe..
A great read for me and write from you!!

[Courtney Hough]

Thanks my friend:)

[¿]

Wc☺.....!!!

[keith]

such imagery you provide
it is not a pretty picture
but one of compassion as well the pain one often feels
well done and stiring

[Jo Billygoat]

tears swell, I wish I could or someone could absorb all that pain so you would not have to carry its repeated wrath