Bad Day

This is a story is about a girl named Maya. She had a very bad day. Was it really that bad in the end?

Maya awoke to the smell of pancakes coming from downstairs and her mom yelling, "your late for volleyball tryouts!" She got up threw an old shirt and spandex. When she ran down the stairs she tripped on her little brother's toys and fell flat on her face. Maya got up, while making a face at her brother Jacob. At the table she ate her pancakes drenched in syrup with a small amount of butter. Her mom was waiting in the car honking the horn repeatedly. Maya screamed, "coming" and ran to the car. Before tryouts Maya realized she forgot her knee pads. Kelly and Olivia ran over to Maya with a volleyball. Kelly asked, "wanna warm up?" Maya nodded. The three of them ran over ans starting bumping the ball back and forth as fast as they could like hot potato. While they were bumping the ball Maya thought to her self "well I guess I'm gonna have to play without knee pads on the most important part of volleyball." Once the coached had arrived, that's when Maya started to get nervous. Olivia looked at Maya and patted her on the back "you'll do great." Maya smiled back. The coach introduced her self to all the girls "my name is Mrs. Wood, I'm here to watch you play your best and leave feeling like a winner." Maya scanned around the gym and every girl seemed more confident than she was. Mrs. Wood worked every single girl hard. Near the end of practice was the final test, it was Maya's turn. Mrs. Wood explained the directions one last time, "every girl must return the ball over the net with a bump, set, and spike. Maya began to shiver with anxiety. As the ball came over the net Maya bumped it perfectly, then she set it straight up. When she went to spike the ball she slipped on a wet spot in the middle of the court. She landed on her back and felt a shock of pain. Her friends ran over and helped her up. Mrs. Wood replied "its okay Maya results will be posted in a week." After practice Maya's mom picked her up and asked "how was practice?" Maya replied with a depressed face "fine", but she made it sound happy with the tone of her voice. As soon as they got home, she ran to her room and began to cry softly. Maya soon accepted what had happened. A week passed and the results were posted. At school Maya ran through the doors and looked at the results skimming all the names. Maya began to worry as she got near the end. She realized she wasn't on the results. Before she could think negatively Kelly ran out of the office towards Maya, holding a certificate. Maya had a confused look, Kelly handed her the paper. Maya read slowly it said, "congratulations to our top player Maya Smith! She looked up and smiled thinking "this was a good day after all."

Author's Note

Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Keep writing. Practice doesn't make perfect but it is a sure and certain road to improvement. I always recommend proofreading. I might also suggest breaking the story into paragraphs. Keep up the good work.

[Ashley]

Thank you for the advice. Yea I totally forgot about the paragraphs, I was in a hurry.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is what is called a "Block Write" and it is not completely inappropriate since the story is so short. But take your time and put the effort into your writing if it's something you care about and it will show. I can tell by your writing that you are young. Youth has great advantages. Use them wisely. I have a 34 year old daughter; a graduate of three colleges and universities who still calls on her daddy for advice. (smile) I also have a two year old who listens to very little. (HA!) But she is a late life blessing the doctors said was "impossible" so naturally I call her my miracle child.

[Ashley]

Yep I'm in High school. lol

[Mac. S]

Some slight grammatical errors but not enough to affect readability in the slightest, these grammatical errors will be ironed out with practice of course. I appreciate the story and how condensed it was. If I had to give any advice it would be to practice alot of writing and seperate your paragraphs. I use to have the bad habbit of not seperating mine. Although, in often cases, it won't affect the reader's ability to read, it's a good habbit to get into. I like the story overall though. Good job.

[Ashley]

Thank you! I've seen some stories not in paragraphs, so I though about doing it like that.

[...]

I really like your details in your story. It looks very precise and give good impression . Also nice positive end. This is really great. Don't ask me about grammar cause I really don't know nothing about it.

[Ashley]

Thanks! I'm really bad at grammar as well. lol

[...]

But you write great stories . lol

[Ashley]

Yea. :D
I'm gonna write a poem soon.

[...]

Yes I am sure it will be master piece. When I see it , I will give you review.

[Ashley]

Okay, thanks. I posted it.

[Phoenix]

real plot twist at the end, i really liked it. there were a few grammatical issues, but the story was great!

[Ashley]

Thanks! It was pretty random. :D