Across the flames Chapter 1 FIRE!

CHapter one To Across the flames

 

   Chapter 1 FIRE!

     "Devi, come down for dinner!" yelled Ms.Montoly from downstairs as she busted around the kitchen looking for her flower plate. 

     "Coming!"Devi shouted back turning the computer to sleep mode and signing off IM.  She skipped down the stairs in her pig  pajamas pants and oversized Ohio state shirt.  She entered her tiny  dinning room which had her small table which like always was only set for  two.  She sat down right as her mom came in carrying a big pot of spaghetti, their favorites. 

     "Why are you so spegettish today mom?" asked Devi eying the yummy dish. Spegettish was their word when one of them made spaghetti or was in a really good mood.

      "I don't know sweetheart, I just felt like cooking some." she replied, sitting down herself. Her long brown wavy hair flowed like a river over her shoulder as she sat. "Well dig in."  They both greedily took some and filled their plates. 

      "So mom did Mr.B deliver the medicine yet?" Devi asked filling her mouth with another great spoonful of spaghetti. Mr.B was the only person mom called when she needed more medicine for her vet clinic.  

       "Oh, yes I forgot.  He did stop by and he wanted to know if you would help him raise a orphaned tiger!" After she finished she watched her daughter to see what she would do next. Devi was wide eyed. Tigers were her favorite animals and we wanted so bad to help with one of Mr.B's orphans.

       "Of course! Of course I would! Did you tell him I would?" she asked practically jumping out of her seat. 

      "Yeah, I told him you'd love to. But the tiger is still coming her its being shipped her by some people in Africa to here.  He said it will be here in a week." Mom loaded her plate with more food and watched as Devi slide back against her chair and smile so bright.  She loved it when her daughter smiled, it always made her smile.  She loved her daughter more than the sun. She admired her daughter in everyway she could. But she also felt bad for too at times, for she had to grow up with no father. And this Mrs. Montoly blamed on herself , even though it was not her fault. Devi's father was a drug addict. Of course he wasn't  when Ms.Montoly married him.  It was a shock when he was picked up for drugs.  He had been a good father at first but then he changed.  Now he was being tried for murder.

      "This is so cool mom! You rock." She leaped up and gave her mom a huge hug. "I take your plate." So she floated along humming as she picked up the kitchen for her mom.  Ms.Montoly laughed and then got up.

       " I think its time for bed honey you have school tomorrow." she reached down and gave her daughter a big hug and kissed her head.

        "Night mom, see you in the morning and thanks for the great meal. Love you." she replied starting up the stairs toward her loft.

        "You're welcome. Love you too, night." Ms. Montoly walked back toward her room. She slept in the back room of the house while Devi slept in the only room upstairs. Devi got in bed and looked up toward the ceiling imaging her and a tiger cub.

   *      *      *

     It was 3:00am when Devi woke up.  She didn't know what was keeping her up. And then she heard it a ringing noise. It took her a second but then... "The phone!" she yelled leaped out of her bed and toward her phone She picked it up and looked at the caller I.D. 

    Unknown Name

    Unknown #

    It was probably a prank call. She put the phone down kind of frustrated that it had woken her up and then fell asleep.

    *      *      *

   Sniff, Sniff. What the? Devi didn't know what she was smelling?  She headed down stairs. When she got to the bottom she saw what was making the smell. Fire. She ran to phone dialing 911, shouting for her mom at the same time.

         "Mom! Mom!Mooooommmmm!" she yelled.

         "This is the emergency...." said the lady on the phone.

         "Yeah, um its Devi Montoly, 4567 Mayteam Road, um, Zanesville, Ohio. We have a huge fire send help fast" Then she hung up she had to find her mom.  She heard a slight cough from the back room. 

         "MOM! MOM! Where are you!" she screamed. She looked down. Gasoline. she stepped back. Then Whoosh! The house burst into flames she was stuck in a circle of fire.  She heard her mom coughing again and screamed out for her with no reply. She spun around. Looking, searching for an answer. She froze and listened someone was shouting it was a man. The voice was familiar. 

         "HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR TIME IN HELL! YOU DISERVE IT!" said the voice in a laughing tone. Thats when Devi remembered the voice. Her dad. But he's in jail? how could he have gotten out? It can't be? But she knew it was it had be.  She was crying now still trying to call to her mom. She heard the sirens coming in and stopping in front of her house. Men started running in and shouting.

          "OVER He.. uk uk..re! HE ukuk LP!" she was having trouble talking her lungs were filling up. She felt a strong rope, no skin yank her up and a light mist of water. Head was spinning, she was confused. But she did remember one thing. 

        "MOOmmmmmm, mom," she was being carried farther away from the house now. The wrong way, right?

        "Their getting her don't worry." said a raspy mans voice in a panicked way. She was getting more delusional. She was placed in an ambulance. She was feeling drowsy. She heard someone in the background say or maybe it was just her mind, I think it was her father.  And was the last thing she heard before everything went black

Author's Note

Please Read Prologe first

Reviews

[April Child]

Goodness that is one action packed first chapter. I like the cosy scene you portray so well with your descriptions of the shared meal and their made up word all showing the loving and close relationship. Then the news of a tiger on its way and needing help to be reared, all sounding like a very happy tale but having read the prologue I knew something was afoot.

There are a few spelling mistakes and some tidying that could be done just to tighten things up, for instance overusing the same word, look out for 'she'. And perhaps in the last part you don't actually need to tell us she recognizes that it's her dad's voice, you could leave it more mysterious just that she recognizes the voice, having already talked about her dad I think the reader would make the assumption.

Overall this is a great start which had me gripped and wondering if mum makes it, did they catch dad etc and wanting to turn the page and find out.

[lots fo love ♥]

wow that was great. kinda scary when you mentioned her dad did it when he was in jail.