Bandit Country

   We trot along a section of the dry mud walls that wove throughout Afghanistan; sections had been blown away. Luckily, my team was running along The enemy wait on the other side of the wall, prepared to shoot us down the moment we crossed to the next section of the wall. I heard sand crunching on the other side, meeting our pace. Yet until then, we remained in our safe haven.

   I was in full body armor and helmet, and sweated beneath everything even though the morning was cool. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, and instincts took over. It reminded me of the last time I was sent home. I went to a carnival with my family, and the popping of balloons sent me into combat. I hit the ground before I knew it, and only the gentle and worried touch of my mother could coax me back up. I still flinched every time I heard a loud noise. 

   My mother's face when she saw me hit the ground I will never forget. Just beneath the surface, I could tell she thought I was a killing machine, bent on survival, never fully capable of leaving combat. 

   My thoughts ran on two tracks: the short and quick orders of my survivalist side, and the feelings of the possibility of never seeing my home again. 

   A small lock of golden hair swished down from under my helmet and into my eyes. I flicked my head to the side to clear it thinking, "I'm gonna hear about that if I get back to base. No, stop it, not if. When." 

   Everyone slowed, and I knew that this would last about a couple seconds before we were under fire. In this time, I reached under my body armor top and revealed three necklaces. A pair of dog tags that read: Havenhill/Candice M./My Social Security Number/O Pos/Catholic 

   The next was a sturdy chain full of different charms that meant different things: A bead from my eighth grade history teacher Mr. Davis that inspired me to fight for my country, a cross from my mother and father that supported my decision to go into the Marines, and a knot of string from my friend that convinced me I would always come home. 

   One of the eight men in front of me gave me a sign with his hand. I would stay back and try to take down as many of the enemies as I could with the other best shot, Arthur, while the rest crossed. Only one more second. The last thing that crossed my mind as I flipped off the safety on my rifle was that if we got back to base, the others would receive The Combat Action Ribbon-- and I would not. Women are not allowed to go into combat action, and when they do, they are not recognized for it. 

   Zero seconds. Seven men sprinted across the section of wall that had been blown out, and Arthur and I stuck our heads out of our protected area and took aim, firing on every enemy that revealed itself. I know for a fact that I hit one in the head. In the heat of the moment, I couldn't see the damage, but I knew that I had killed someone. 

   All my men made it to the other side safely, and one of them-Logan, the reckless one, for sure-had tossed a grenade into the thick of them at the last second. I knew I should have taken cover a while ago, but I stayed to survey the carnage. 

   Just as I moved back behind the wall, I heard the all too familiar firing of a rifle, a whistle, and felt wind swish by my face. I would not realize until later that I had been inches from being shot in the cheek. 

   On instinct, Arthur and I sprinted to safety and all the way to base with the rest of the team. I already knew what would happen if I made it to base. I would make it home, receive no Combat Action Ribbon, and I would go back into the marines to do what I love. Fight for my country. 

Author's Note

I kinda mashed a couple of stories together, tell me what you think of how I portrayed the character, language, grammar, and the way the battle came out-realistic?

Reviews

[Tegon Maus]

Hi Darkness or should I say Candice? I liked this very much !! The only difficulty I have is believing you are only 15. Here are a couple of minor things I would have written differently. "sent me into combat MODE." I WILL NEVER FORGET my mother's face when she saw me hit the ground. and the (feelings of the) drop this possibility of never seeing my home again. Over all good detail, believable action and a happy ending... I couldn’t ask for more. And by the way you’re right... Twilight did suck.

[A-Love]

Hey this was really awesome, even if i were a complete stranger I would still think so. Awesome really, you know I've never read anything that you've done?