words

my words build empty castles my soul dances through their halls

My words build

Empty castles

Where the ghost

Of my soul flits through

To show me what I could have been

If I endured to live

Past poetry

 

My words rise

Mountains and rivers

Yet when I speak

My voice does not come

It stops

In the tracks of the place

Just beneath my throat

And sleeps

 

My words create

Molehills out of mountains

And mountains out of dust

But cannot create

A self for me

To rebuild the change

That brought a loss

I can’t yet comprehend

 

I want

So desperately

To be who I am

In truth

My voice can dance with the fire

It held when we fought

(I don’t think you remember that)

(I remember)

My voice can hold the passion

And the idealism

Of a world built by love

When I was with you

I knew who I was

 

And saw

All we could be

I lived

In the moment

Instead of existed

In the past

Like I’m doing now

I suppose

It was so long ago

 

I know who I am I think

At the core of the being I hold

But in light of new things I’ve learned

About me I hold true

 

I don’t know if I deserve the dreams I have

Close to me anymore

I don’t know if the words I speak

 

Are just

Empty words

Words of ghosts

In the castle

Of my soul

Where the fragments of

Past idealism

Lived

 

Author's Note

i like the beginning but need to work on the end still