Twenty One

Part Three:  1865

Twenty-One

I daresay, Adeline, I don’t know how you manage this whole house all by yourself.”

I glanced up from my tea. “Hmm?” I looked quizzically at my companions from across the table like I had not heard them, even though I had.  “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Of course I don’t mean to pry,” said Holly, who always meant to pry, “but it just seems that it would be so difficult to get by around here without a man’s help.”

I put my guard up. The girls I had been forced to invite to this tea were full of sly ways of getting information. I had been juggling these kinds of backhanded questions all afternoon.

“Well whatever do you mean by that, Miss Holly?” I asked. “I’ve got Roy, of course.”

“Yes, of course you have Roy,” she said deviously. Some of the girls giggled discretely behind their fans, as if I would not notice. “I just mean with his being gone so very often.”

I suppressed a nasty comment. One would think that Roy being away would become an asset to my life. How I wish that was true.

For the past few months, Roy had been around less and less. The official excuse was that our crops were of crucial importance to the struggling Alabama militia, causing Roy to be commonly called to the city to strike deals. Due to our lack of cash flow, though, there was reasonable doubt as to his whereabouts.

Quite frankly, I did not know or care what he was really doing. A few months after Isaiah last returned, it became apparent that no matter how hard he tried Roy was not going to be able to give me a son. It was never spoken outright, but we both knew. Roy had become considerably bitterer, but at least he stopped forcing himself on me. He had tried so hard it was almost laughable. I had been sore for weeks. He blamed me for the infertility, of course. It gave me great pleasure to know that was not the case.

We never confronted each other about what had happened in the forest.

Then Roy started to disappear and people started to talk. Within the last few months, we had become the most common topic of gossip in the area. I had heard every story they could tell, from Roy’s secret taste for sodomy (a rumor that rendered me nearly hysterical with laughter), to my refusal to consummate the marriage (which I sincerely wished was the case). There were rumors Roy had a mistress in the city, an idea that was probably not very far from the truth. Some were saying that it was I being unfaithful to him, a story that bothered me only because it had at one time been true.

When it came right down to it, though, I really did not feel at all inclined to protect my reputation. I could take their whisperings and lies, because my life was scandalous, and I was long done pretending that it wasn’t.  They could think what they wanted, but no one would ever guess what was the real scandal behind my life was.

True to form, no one who knew the truth ever talked about Isaiah.

I cast down my eyes and sipped my tea. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“Of course,” said Holly with a little smirk. She was sure she had gotten to me. She was wrong. No one penetrated my emotions anymore.

“Well you do have a rather fine amount of help,” offered another girl. “I mean, with the conditions of things.” She meant the slaves. Most plantations were letting slaves off. Money was getting tighter and people were becoming more and more frightened of the Union.

I looked briefly at Hannah, who was dusting a china hutch in the corner of the parlor, Jordan at her skirts. Jordan had been working in the house now, learning to work with Hannah. Roy, being gone so much, barely noticed. When he was away, I sometimes let her sleep in the house. I could tell he did not really care about Jordan anymore, now that Isaiah was out of the way.

 “Yes, the workers,” I avoided saying ‘slave’ with Jordan in earshot, “are very important to me.” Hannah caught my eye briefly and let a slight smile glint across her face. “I don’t know how I would get along without them.”

Hannah had been devastated when she learned that Isaiah had joined the army. Even with the Union’s victory now being almost inevitable, it was hard not to worry.

“How’s your family been, Adeline?” a nameless girl asked, making small talk to fill the dead air.

“Quite well, thank you,” I answered politely. “I’ll actually be leaving tomorrow to stay with my parents for a week while Roy is away on business.”

Mama and Daddy did not like me staying alone all the time any more than society did. My mother constantly worried about what other people were beginning to think of me, which was why she had arranged this particular tea. She was beginning to realize that her meddling was not working, so she had insisted I stay with them for a week, if only to monitor my sanity.

“How nice for you,” one of them said. I ignored the judgmental glances they gave one another over their teacups.

They left about an hour later, much to my relief, and I was all but alone in the house. Roy would not be back until the following week and I had given Hannah leave to visit Eli for the evening. Other slaves were about, but no one to talk to.

I flitted around the empty house for the remainder of the day and retired to my room early in the evening. I was just settling down in bed when Jordan came looking for me.

She peeked her little head in through the door. “Momma?” she said sweetly.

I looked at my daughter and smiled. “Come on in, baby.”

Jordan tiptoed in and snuggled up on my lap. “I’m real happy I get to live here with you now, Momma,” she said sincerely. “I’m sure glad Mister Leroy’s gone so much now. He’s awful mean sometimes.”

 I sighed. She didn’t know the half of it. “I know, darling, I know.”

“Momma,” she began, “do you miss Mister Leroy when he’s gone. Because no one else does.”

I thought about it for a minute and decided to tell the truth. “No, baby, I don’t miss him either.”

“Do you miss Daddy?”

I was utterly taken aback by that question. How could she have even remembered me telling her about Isaiah? I had avoided talking about it for so long. I had even forgotten I had told her.

“W-why would you be asking something like that, angel?”

“Well, I just remembered, Momma, what you said about him going away and all, ’cause Auntie Hannah and Uncle Eli was talking about him.”

My eyes widened. Was that true? Was there something they were not telling me again? I looked Jordan in the eyes seriously. She needed to understand how important this was. “Jordan, baby, you need to tell me what they were saying about your father.”

She knit her little eyebrows and looked frustrated. “I’m sorry Momma but I don’t really know.” She started to talk faster “They had a letter and at first I didn’t know who it was from and they kept saying ‘when’s he coming’ and ‘he can’t do this again.’ And then I heard them say ‘Isaiah’ and I know that’s his name ’cause you told it to me and I figured I should tell you.”

I stared at my daughter for a minute. What she was telling me could not possibly be true. She must have misheard. She must have misunderstood.

“Are you sure, Jordan? Is that exactly what you heard?”

She nodded her head fervently. “I’m not lying, Momma, I promise.”

I looked into her big black eyes and I knew Jordan was telling the truth. That promise was unmistakable. Isaiah’s sincerity was surfacing and I could never mistrust that.

“I know, darling,” I said. “I know.”

She was quiet for a long minute. “I’m awful tired Momma, can I please sleep in here with you tonight?”

I had to think about it for a second, but with Roy gone and Hannah being the only one who came in here, there was really nothing to worry about. So I nodded. “All right, sweet, come on. Let’s go to bed.”

I lay down and Jordan curled her tiny self up next to me.

“Momma?” she said sleepily after a minute.

“What is it, Jordan?”

“You never answered my question,” she whispered. “Do you miss Daddy?”

I had not cried for him in months, but I cried now. As hard as I tried, I could not stop myself from wanting him to come back. Silent tears slipped down my cheeks as I told my daughter the truth.

“I do,” I said quietly, trying to control the pain in my voice. “I miss him very much. I love him.”

 

Reviews

[Bexfinch]

SECRETS,SECRETS ,SECREEEEEEEEEEEETs gosh how many secrets do they have good chapter

[Lorraine]

Oh wow, he seems to be coming back again. That guy has to make up his mind already. Anyway, another wonderful chapter. It's one that explores not just Adeline's undying love for Isaiah but also her heart-warming love for her daughter. Very sweet, indeed. Good Job.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Taylor H]

this is a great chapter. I love your plot and the characters everyting jsut fits together so perfectly. i plan on going back and reading the other chapters some time. this is a great book

[mirui]

Great. I like how you filled in all the information and questions we had. I'm going to stick with this book until the end.

[Closed Account]

aww, i really liked the ending. it was sad. this is really good, emily. i can't wait to hear more. great job! =)
--Bella Rose